Behind Closed Doors
by Nena Karnf
Summary: (Set before season 6) Ziva's been acting odd lately and it seems Tony's the only one to notice. He tries to help but she wont open up. The more he asks, the more she shuts him out. No one else can see that something isn't right but him, and despite how much she tries to convince him it's all fine Tony knows better. He sees more than she thinks but will she let him help her?
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: Hello readers! Hope you like this one, a little idea I had the other day, chapter two will be up soon if people like this one. (Let me know in reviews!) To the people who will undoubtedly reply after reading the first few chapters of this story with 'This would never happen' or 'That is so unlikely', keep an open mind. It will all become clearer in later chapters...(Ooh so mysterious eh?) Serioiusly though, please enjoy!_

 **Chapter One**

"Ziva you been sparring again? Who was the victim this time?" Tony joked noticing a large, dark bruise on her hip as her shirt rode up whilst she removed her sweater.  
"Just training Tony." She replied pulling the shirt beyond her belt, as far down as it could go before she stretched it.  
"Well don't go at it too hard eh?" He laughed and leant back in his chair, nothing new there. Ziva was always fighting it seemed, either the bad guys at work or peers in martial arts whilst she trained.  
"Don't worry about it Tony." Ziva smiled at him as she went back to her paperwork.  
"As if I could, I know you can kick anybody's ass!" It was true she could, physically speaking that is, but it didn't mean she always would.  
"How long is Gibbs gonna force us to our desks with paperwork?" He groaned tapping his pain against the side of his head in an irritating way. Ziva sighed at the distraction, why was he so juvenile?

"I assume, Tony, until it is done. So can you just shut up and let me concentrate please?" She said please but there was a sharp edge to her Tony.  
"Jeez...what's up with you today? Time of the month?" He immediately regretted his joke, somehow he'd never realised that was something you never ask until he said it out loud. On any other day she probably would've ignored him, but instead she just got up and left the squadroom.

Methodically she pushed each cubicle door open to check she was alone before locking the main door to the women's restroom. Inch by inch she rolled up her shirt examining the bruise, she hadn't noticed it till Tony's remark, she had no idea how. Yikes. It was massive, dark purple at its center and slowly lightening in colour towards the edges surrounded by a yellow ring. The purple covered from her hips up to just below her rib cage, some of it was patchy and left small uncoloured patches of smooth tan skin, but mostly her entire abdomen was painted. Tony had only caught a glimpse, he'd barely seen the damage. The door rattled against his frame and she quickly pulled down her top.  
"Hello? Hello! Seriously whoever's in there I gotta pee…" Abby, Ziva thought reaching for the lock. The door swung open the moment she released her grip, almost hitting her in the face.

"Ziva?" Abby asked confused as to why she'd locked the restroom. "Never mind I've had three Caf-Pows today and Larry closed the downstairs restrooms for cleaning." She rushed into a cubicle and slammed the door, Ziva heard the waterfall begin to gush as she headed for the door to return to the squadroom. Quietly she took her place again and Tony stared at her waiting for an explanation for her sudden departure. When she did not give one he went back to the open folder on his desk. She was shocked by the silence, it lasted almost two hours, probably a record for DiNozzo.

"Lunch?" Tony asked. "I'm paying." Once he said that her hesitation faded and she grabbed her sweater and bag.  
"That is very...generous of you Tony. Are you okay?" For a brief moment he pretended to look hurt at her quip.  
"Well since McGee and Gibbs are at Norfolk I think I can stretch to paying for the both of us. So would you like to be my lunch-date?" He curved his arm for her to interlink her own in a mock fashion.  
"It would be my pleasure Tony." They walked arm in arm to the elevator laughing.

"So you ever gonna let us meet this guy you've been seeing?" He asked removing his arm to press the ground floor button.  
"It is going well I think." Tony watched as she shrugged as if it didn't bother her.  
"I'll look forward to meeting him, so where do you want to go for lunch?" The abrupt subject change didn't go unnoticed by Ziva and she was thankful for it.  
"I am not fussy. Anywhere is good with me." It was mostly small talk from then onwards, they didn't have a current case to discuss so lunch went mostly without work coming up. Tony had chosen a small cafe and they had both ordered a salad, not unusual for Ziva, but Tony for some reason was apparently on a 'health-kick'.

She reached for the salad dressing and in a similar way to earlier, the fabric shifted up as she extended her arm. This one was more concerning to Tony. His earlier glimpse was nothing odd, probably from landing too hard after being flipped, but this new reveal was clearly from fingers. The bruise wrapped around her wrist, like the hand that had given it. Ziva was a skilled fighter, she wouldn't have allowed sometime to grab her wrist in such away, or let it be kept in the hold longer enough to bruise.

"They must have been almost as good as you…" He said lightly trying not to stare, it was strange the other bruise was more severe but somehow this one warranted more worry.  
"Yes, they were a worthy opponent...very strong." She prodded lettuce with her fork.

"Ziva I know you enjoy fighting, but you don't go beyond your limit. You can take most people, hell I even think you'd win against Gibbs, but don't go getting yourself hurt." He smirked at her with a trademark DiNozzo grin, he tried to mask how much he cared about her with jokes but he really did care.

"Tony I appreciate your concern, but honestly, don't worry about me. If I were to only fight when I would win, then I would never improve!" She prodded him playfully on the arm and took a mouthful of grated carrot.

The afternoon was as slow as the morning, endless paperwork broken up by bickering over the tedium.  
"Tony! If you flick one more rubberband at me I swear…" She didn't finish that sentence, not wanting to threaten a co worker. The again it wouldn't have been the first time.  
"I'm bor-e-e-ed!" He stretched the vowels running his fingertips through his hair repeatedly.  
"I noticed! Look McGee and Gibbs will be back soon, and then you can bother them alright? Until then please, I am begging you, just please, shut up! Otherwise I'm gonna finish this in the morgue." It was meant to be a threat, but afterwards she realised it was probably the smartest idea she'd had all day. The morgue was cool and quiet, with no current cases there were probably no bodies laid out. She could used Ducky's desk also.  
"I wouldn't if you want to breathe…" Tony said seriously. "Palmers wiping everything down with bleach. But okay I'll be quiet."  
"Thank you Tony." Ziva replied genuinely.  
"One more thing though," She sighed and put down her pen. "What's with you today? You seem really uptight. Is anything wrong? You know you can always talk to me right?"  
"No there is nothing wrong just trying to get this work done but like I said at lunch, I appreciate your concern."

They had the paperwork done by the time Gibbs and McGee returned from Norfolk. With more paperwork. All of them loved their job, but no one would argue that paperwork was one of the worst parts. Tony eventually settled down and got on with it and with the occasional break he was bearable. Probably because of Gibbs' presence. McGee, Gibbs, and Ziva just got on with it. After all the sooner they got it done, the better. Ziva didn't know the other's plans but she was certain they had better places to be than stuck in the pumpkin walls staring at files full of After-Action reports. It could be worse she thought, it could be Internal Affairs reports…  
"Does anyone want to go and get a drink after this?" McGee addressed the bullpen.  
"Ooh Mc Reckless, drinking on a school-night? I could sure use one though!" Tony chuckled and shut another case file.  
"Gibbs?"

"I'll pass Tim." Blunt as ever he answered before returning to the M'Naghten report.  
"Zee?" Both Tony and McGee looked at her waiting  
"I can't tonight, sorry McGee." She didn't explain why. None of them asked as it wasn't unusual for Ziva to skip social events especially drinking ones. Ziva rarely drank, she liked to keep her mind sharp. Once the work was done Tony and McGee left for their cars to drive to one of their favorite bars, Ziva stayed behind still buried in her own papers.  
"Ziva go home, it's late." Gibbs ordered, it wasn't a suggestion and Ziva knew this but still she tried.  
"Honestly, I need to get this done. If I don't I'll be chained to my desk tomorrow."  
"Ziva I said go. I'll finish it for ya'." Gibbs' tone was less agreeable now and she relented picking up her backpack. She grabbed her gun holster and badge from the desk draw and placed them in her bag.  
"Goodnight." She added stepping into the elevator putting her arms through the straps of her backpack.

She drove fast, even for her, several cars 'honked' at her as she sped through the streets of DC recklessly. Usually people disliked her driving, she'd no idea why, but that night there were even more pissed off drivers for she was especially illegal. She ran red lights, ignored the stop signs all together, trying to get home fast. She'd promised she would finish work at 7pm, but hadn't even left the office till half past. Ziva hated breaking promises, and not being punctual. The stairs up to her apartment were a nightmare, probably because she hadn't been very active that day, hadn't even gone for her morning run. She inserted her key into the door but before she had a chance to turn it in the lock it swung away from her.  
"Adam." She noted seeing the man behind it. "Thanks." She added putting her work things away.  
"You said you would be home half an hour ago!" He said in a mildly annoyed tone. "Who were you with?" His voice got angrier, as he jumped to conclusions.  
"No one I swear. Work ran late because of paperwork. I am sorry." She took off her jacket and placed it on the rack before kissing him softly. Trying to make it up to him, to hopefully make him forgive her for letting work get it the way.  
"Ziv," He said using his special name for her, "when you say you are going to be home at seven, I expect you to be home at seven. The meals gone cold now." He sounds disappointed and she can't look at him. It was her fault, she didn't have to stay, she could have left when Tony and McGee did.  
"We can heat it up?" She offered, he looked more mad than before. He stepped away from her and turned his back before kicking the table out of frustration suddenly. She flinched at the harsh sound.  
"No! Ziv. We cannot heat it up, it is ruined-" He groaned.  
"-I can make something else." Ziva knew at this point it was useless but she still tried.  
"Fine do that. I won't eat any of it, then you'll see how it hurts when you spend a long time preparing food only for it to end up in the trash." It sounded like Adam had gargled with gravel before addressing her. His body was tensed up, she could see that even with his back to him.  
"I'm sorry…" She added once again feeling guilty for allowing NCIS to come before him. Work was work, and relationships were more of a priority.  
"No Ziv, I'm sorry I got angry but can't you see that NCIS is just a job, those people aren't really your friends, just coworkers, they don't care about you like I do." He walked over to her and pulled her tight to his waist, a little more forceful than she would've liked. "They don't touch you like I do." To reinforce his statement he grabbed her ass possessively, his fingers digging into her buttocks. Ziva wriggled beneath as his grip tightened. "Don't pretend baby, I know you like it rough." He kissed her and her lips responded gently. He deepened the kiss and she was forced to do the same as he shoved his tongue quickly into her mouth. It ended quickly as if he had just wanted to prove his point about NCIS not caring for her like him. She took a gasp of air as he pulled his lips from his. "I don't think you should spend so much time at NCIS when it's not work. I think you should spend more time with me…" He's leading her towards the bedroom, pulling her hand with his own. She lets him and shuts the door behind herself.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Thanks to all those who have left reviews, followed, or favourited. I'm glad you like it so far. To clear a few things up, this is set before Michael Rivkin, before Somalia, roughly around Seasons 4-5. I was aware that people would have doubts about Ziva's character in this, and why she would not just leave him or 'kick his ass' but as seen many times throughout NCIS, Ziva is a strong person on the job because she has to be, when it comes to her personal life and other things she is more vulnerable. I feel that it is fairly plausible that she could have found herself in the situation unable to do anything. Ziva David is a proud character, usually unwilling to accept that she needs help, let alone ask for it. The motives and behaviours of characters will become clearer later._

 **Chapter Two**

Four missed calls, eleven texts, two hours late. Ziva David was in deep trouble. Most of the texts were from Tony, two of them just said 'Rule 3', which she knew was never be unreachable. She replied quickly apologising for being late, but that wouldn't appease Gibbs later, in fact apologising might make it worse. When she finally entered the squad room she was relieved to see them all still there, at least she hadn't missed anything relating to an open case.  
"David with me." Gibbs barked walking to the elevator, she barely had enough time to ditch her bag before running to catch up. As always the doors closed and there was a moment of silence interrupted by the loud sound of the box coming to a halt. The emergency lighting switched on and dimmed, the setting for her scolding.  
"Gibbs I am sorry I am late." He sighed frustrated.  
"You're rarely late, and never by this much. What happened?" There was a slight note of concern masked by his anger.  
"I overslept." The worst lie she could've chosen, his scepticism was obvious.  
"Ziva you never oversleep. Look you've been here for almost two years now, and the only other time you were this late was when you were on the run from NCIS, the FBI and Mossad. So tell me, now, what happened?" It was a dirty tactic, bringing up the explosion, knowing it would remind her of how he had helped her. Demanding honesty from her because she owed him.  
"Gibbs I overslept, I was up late going over some of that paperwork at home, it won't happen again." Her lie this time was more sincere, and he seemed to buy it.  
"Better not David." He pushed the emergency call button again and the elevator started to move again. Tony and McGee looked at them both return to their desks, Ziva running her hands through her hair, Gibbs with a face of unreadable stone.

In her tardiness she hadn't had time to get ready fully and her long thick hair was down her back occasionally creeping forward to obscure her vision. She needed something to tie it back, a bobble, headband, anything to tame the wild frizz. At first she asked some of her female co workers in the bullpen, but all had very American styled hair, straight or slightly curled and not nearly as long as hers. The best offer she had was a clip and that would not help. Gibbs had gone to fetch more coffee, so she used the abscence to sneak down to Abby's lab. The loud Gothtronica of Dominic Kelly blasted beyond the doors, and Ziva realised she must have been at NCIS for quite a while to actually recognise the music.  
"Abby? ABBY!" Shouting over the music took considerable effort but eventually the forensic scientist noticed and paused the player.  
"Hey Ziva, we got a case?" Abby asked closing several windows on her computer at once.  
"No, I just wanted to ask if I could borrow a hair tie please?" Ziva waited whilst Abby rooted around in her draws.  
"Wow you look like hell." She remarked turning around to give Ziva the hair tie. "Do you want to borrow some concealer? Did you not sleep last night?" Ziva chuckled a little, Abby was always so blunt.  
"I did not have enough time to get ready today, also I do not think we are the same skin tone Abby." That was an understatement, Abby had very pale skin even for an American, and Ziva had very tanned Israeli skin. After being handed a brush Ziva did her best to tie it up, snapping two of Abby's elastic hair ties in the process. One of the downsides to thick hair.  
"Thank you Abby, you're a lifesaver. I got to get back up to the squadroom, Gibbs is already unhappy with me today."  
"Why?"  
"I overslept, hence why I did not have time to do my hair. I have to go now, thanks Abby!" She added rushing out the door towards the lift. Thankfully Gibbs was still out when she got back, all she had to deal with was Tony and McGee. McGee was more subtle than Tony in his stares, though that may have been because their desks were not directly opposite. Did she really look that bad?

At lunchtime they got a case and all headed to the MCRT van ready to drive to the scene. Like always Gibbs went separately and took his Sedan but strangely McGee travelled with him.  
"So you gonna tell me what's up or do I have to guess?" Tony asked turning a corner slowly. Ziva shifted uncomfortably in her seat, there was nowhere to run whilst driving.  
"Tony nothing is 'up' it has just been an off day for me. I overslept it is not the end of the world, it happens to everyone." She stuck her right foot on the dashboard and started tightening her laces slowly waiting anxiously for his reply.  
"Yeah it does Ziva, but not to you."  
"Fine Tony. Me and Adam had a late night last night." She winked at him, technically the essential statement was true though it was not in the way she was implying.  
"Ohh I get ya'. So when do we get to meet him?" Tony was smirking ear to ear at the idea that his partner had been up late getting some. It was unlike Ziva to tell him when things like that happened, he'd still never solved the mystery of the friction burns.  
"I do not know Tony. When I have prepared him enough for meeting Gibbs!" She joked lifting her boot of the van's dash before working on the other shoe.  
"So what does he do? What's his name? You've been seeing this guy for a while now and we don't know a thing." They were about ten minutes from the scene and Tony knew she'd use working to ignore his questions, so he tried for the answers in the van.  
"Have you ever considered Tony that the reason you do not know about my private life, is because it is private? If you must know, his name is Adam and he works at a private security firm in DC." She hoped this information would stop him 'butting in' but apparently not, the entire ride he persisted with questions and she answered some of them. By they got to the scene she couldn't wait to leave the van and start taking crime scene photos.

The victim was a young petty officer, Manson Daniels. Ducky determined TOD at about 4am, and cause was most likely the gunshot wounds in his chest though as always they'd know more once he had performed the autopsy.  
"Gibbs! We got a tire mark here!" Ziva shouted staring at the distinct black marks on the concrete taking several photos.  
"They left the scene in a hurry." He observed looking at the tread, it was dark but faded quickly usually this happened from fast accelerating vehicles. Suddenly Ziva's phone went off and Gibbs sighed. She tried ignoring it but it kept ringing, she stood up and walked a few paces before answering.  
"I'm at work. I can't talk- I know- Okay-. Listen I can not talk right now my boss is here and we are busy. Okay. Yes. Alright. I'll see you tonight. Yes. Okay." She hung up and turned her phone off. Gibbs was staring at her as she pocketed the device.  
"Ziva canvass the area for evidence. If they left a tyre track they might have left something else." She could tell he was angry at her, but she didn't bother to apologise, it wouldn't help.  
"Was that Adam?" Tony asked taking wide shots of the scene. "What did he want?"  
"He just wanted to check I made it in okay. Come on let's bag the rest of these cigarette butts, they could be evidence." Tony held an evidence bag open as she picked up each individual butt carefully and put them in the bag.  
"Didn't you tell him he shouldn't call you at work? That's like Rule...something." Tony started trying to recall the rules on his fingers silently whilst Ziva stared at him confused.  
"He was just being concerned. He knows now." She replied her mind clearly somewhere else. Tony watched her carefully as she worked, she seemed very distant after the call and whilst she was working it was clear she wasn't really with him.  
"Zee-vah! Didn't you hear me? Come on we're done here." He shouted heading towards the truck. McGee and Gibbs had already left and if they took forever to get back to NCIS it wouldn't really help Ziva. She had already been late, and taken a personal call, she didn't need to be accused of being slow at her work.

The case was slow progress, as suspected Daniels' GSWs had been the main cause of death, but they didn't have a murder weapon yet. The first stages of a case were already underway. Tony and McGee had gone to notify next of kin, and Ziva was pulling the bank records of the petty officer. Gibbs was up in Director Shepard's office though Ziva had no idea why. She was alone in the squadroom trying to organise the records for their update later for Gibbs, she'd found nothing too unusual apart from a big withdrawal three days prior to Daniels' death. Speculating was not something they did in their job, they tried to get all the evidence but she found herself thinking of many reasons he could've been killed that related to the money. She was bored and she knew it, but grateful that she didn't have to be the one to tell Mrs Daniels her son was dead. Arguably it was one of the worst parts of the job, to tell a parent their child was gone, or that a wife would never see her husband again, she loved her job but nothing tears you apart more than seeing a child's face when they find out their daddy is never coming home. People get so used to worrying about their loved ones whilst deployed it never occurs to them something could happen on US soil.

After tracking the money they discovered he had gambling debts, and from there the case was simple. They found the debt collector, matched the tire print and prints found at the scene to him and Gibbs as always got a confession. Compared to their usual cases it was relatively simple it would definitely get a conviction not that it was any comfort to his mother. They all learned through law enforcement that justice doesn't always mean peace. It doesn't matter if his killer is behind bars, he's still dead. It doesn't matter if he gets the death penalty, because the victim's family will never truly have peace.  
"Ziva I'm going to the vending machine, you want anything?" McGee asked fishing out his wallet from his jacket.

"No thank you, I am going out later for dinner." McGee smiled and left.  
"Ooh dinner? With...Adam?" Tony leaned forward over his desk staring at her, was there no end to his intrusion?  
"Yes Tony if you must know, with Adam." Ziva continued typing, trying to ignore the face he was pulling.  
"Where ya' going?" His voice was casual but she knew his interest was not, it never was. He aimed a piece of balled up paper at the trash can whilst waiting for an answer. "He shoots! He scores. Oh yeah, one nil to DiNozzo." Ziva sighed and returned to her work not giving him an answer.


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for a late update. Slow wifi here, and a little too much fun on my part also. I've been enjoying myself a lot, and forgetting to write. :) Though I shan't apologise for that! Hope you like this chapter, please review as always! Reviews help to let me know people are reading, and liking, and therefore tell me I should keep writing it! Also if there are things people don't like, I can help to sort that too! Constructive criticism makes me a better writer guys, so don't be afraid to let me know your thoughts._

 **Chapter Three**

Tony packed up his stuff and left on time for his date with Crystal, he'd chosen one of his first date restaurants. Romantic, pricey, perfect for setting the mood for later...activities if they were to happen. The girl was nice enough, though he did not see it going further than a one night stand or perhaps a couple of weeks. She was blonde, in every definition, a secretary for a law firm but not that bright, beautiful of course but her pretty head was virtually empty. The few conversations he'd had with her so far revolved around her sorority sisters, and her cats. He met her outside her house and they drove to the restaurant. They were seated inside by the window, far enough away from the live music to be able to talk, though the musician was good, Tony never liked to sit too close.  
"So do you know what you'd like?" He asked his date staring at the leatherbound menu.  
"I'll have whatever you are having, Tony." She emphasized his name and covered his hand with hers.  
"I said we wanted a window table!" Tony heard a man raise his voice, briefly look up and went back to choosing his food. The waiter was clearly trying his best to explain it was a busy night. "I phoned ahead and I was told we would be seated by a damn window." He wasn't yet shouting but he was definitely pissed. Tony sighed and ignored the disruption, he did feel sorry for the waiter however.  
"May I take your order sir?" The waiter from before stood by their table with a notepad. Tony gave his order quickly, and chose the house wine.

The man was just about to leave when Tony stopped him. "What was that all about before?"

"Oh that guy? He comes here with his girl sometimes. No one here likes him though, he's rude to the staff. He's got a hell of a temper. Guess I drew the short straw tonight on serving them…" The guy sighed at his own bad luck and left with their order to the kitchen.

Tony made small talk with Crystal till their wine arrived. Whilst she replied to her 'whatschat' messages he scanned the room. He saw the man who had been yelling earlier, sat by the window, though he couldn't see the woman with him. About the same height as crystal only with longer darker hair. That was all he could see from his angle.  
"Sorry Tony, so what is it like to work for the Navy?" Crystal said putting her phone away.  
"Well NCIS is actually a Civilian organisation." Tony corrected her though he wasn't sure why

"What does that mean?" The blonde stared back at him with hollow eyes.

"I'm not enlisted...it doesn't matter. So um, secretary." He took a sip of wine. "That must be interesting."  
"Not really…" This date was just getting worse, Tony though as he struggled for what to say.  
"Sorry would you excuse me I have to go to the bathroom." He lied leaving the table. He did indeed visit the restroom, but he didn't _have_ to go. He spent a long time washing his hands, longer than necessary, and dried them on his pants as he left. He walked past peoples tables until he stopped and saw Crystal leaving. Guess that was over then, he groaned internally. He carried on walking till he suddenly stopped in shock.

"Ziva?" He barely recognised his co-worker with her hair down and more makeup on. She was wearing a low cut top that accentuated two certain aspects of her. He'd never imagine her to dress so...provocatively? If that was the right word for it, he wasn't sure.  
"Tony. Hi." Ziva replied awkwardly, clearly annoyed by his presence. "What are you doing here?"  
"I was on a date actually, though she just snuck out while I was in the restroom. Shame, she'll never know what she missed." He laughed and turned to look at the man she was with, Adam he assumed, though he just saw him as the overly angry man from before.  
"This is Adam, Adam this is Tony, he works with me at NCIS." Ziva said not looking up. Tony extended his hand and hesitantly Adam shook it.  
"Ziva speaks of you often, it is great to finally meet you." Adam lied putting on a fake smile. "Join us please."  
"I don't wanna intrude on you guys, I'll probably just head off. Good meeting ya Adam." Ziva sighed with relief.  
"Really, I insist." Adam said in a light tone, but Ziva knew he was not joking. Adam moved to sit next to Ziva, and Tony sat down opposite them.

"So you work in security?" Tony says taking a bite of his food, and washing it down with his wine. Adam glanced at Ziva briefly.  
"He asked earlier." Ziva explained.  
"Yes I do. Not as exciting as NCIS, but it pays the bills. What else has Ziva told you about me?" His question seemed casual but Ziva could feel his hand gripping her leg under the table, his nails digging into her thigh.  
"Nothing really, she's been very secretive as always." Tony laughed winking at Adam. Ziva tried to move his hand subtly but he wouldn't let go, instead he just increased the pressure.  
"Yes Ziv likes to keep secrets." He replied quietly. "Well she has told me plenty about you, Tony, it seems you have a strong...friendship." Ziva took a nervous mouthful of food to avoid having to talk.  
"Yeah, 'Ziv' is my partner, you can't be in this line of work without forming strong bonds. I trust Ziva to always have my back and I've got hers." Tony looked at Ziva, expecting her to say something, a joke, an insult, anything. She didn't, and just nodded. Odd, Tony thought.  
"So you and Ziva never…?"  
"-No!" Ziva said quickly, and a little too loudly. Tony almost jumped, she'd been so quiet all night apart from the sudden outburst. "I mean, me and Tony, that is ridiculous. We have never, we would never, Adam there is nothing between us. " She spoke fast and panicked.  
"Ziva, I'm offended!" Tony mocked laughing. "Don't worry Adam, you have nothing to worry about, she's my partner strictly in the professional sense. I don't see her like that." Adam relaxed his previously tense body and took his glass of wine in one hand.

"I was just curious. When you spend so much time with someone, sometimes things are inevitable." He took a few sips and set it back down. "So what about you Tony, I have my Ziv, what happened to your date?" Tony tried not to frown but he didn't like the way he had said 'my Ziv'. Ziva was always her own person, though he had seen no evidence of that tonight. It was like she was a completely different person.  
"She left, it wasn't going well. I don't think we had anything in common. Ah well, can't have em all!" Tony laughed and Ziva assumed he was quoting a movie as he said it in his usual weird way. "Ziva you're being unusually quiet, I would've thought you'd have something to comment on my dysfunctional love life. You usually do." He chucked softly.  
"I am not feeling well Tony, a headache. Adam I think I might go home and get an early night, can we leave please?" She spoke quietly, and Tony looked at her suspiciously. Since when did Ziva ask permission?  
"Can't you take some Advil or something? I was enjoying getting to know Tony." Adam sighed angrily. "Okay, let me get the cheque." Adam stood up to find the waiter.  
"Ziva, seriously what's up with you? This guy he's-"  
"Having a bad day Tony." Ziva finished for him. "He's a really sweet guy he's just a little, how you say, 'off; tonight." Adam waved her over from the door and Ziva quickly stood up and fast walked over to him.

"He's not the only one…" Tony sighed talking to himself and the couple left the restaurant.

Once Tony had finished his meal the waiter quickly came over and Tony placed a few bills on the small tray.  
"Thank you sir." The waiter smiled as he handed Tony a receipt.  
"That guy from earlier, my friend's date, do you know his second name?"  
"I'm sorry sir, I can't tell you that." Tony pulled out a another bill and held it in his hand watching the waiters loyalty change before him. "Hallson. Adam Hallson." Tony handed him the bill and made a memo of the name on his phone. After leaving the restaurant he decided to call Ziva just to check she wasn't too unwell, though he highly doubted her headache was the cause of her behaviour earlier.  
"Hey Zee." Ziva picked up relatively fast.  
"Tony, I can't talk, I was going to get an early night." She rushed from the other end, to Tony it almost sounded like she was whispering.  
"Are you okay? Want me to tell Gibbs and Jenny you won't be in tomorrow?" He leaned back on his couch and waited for a reply.  
"No, I am fine Tony. Just need some sleep. I'll talk to you-" She was desperately trying to hang up, he could tell.  
"-Ziva... If you need to talk-"  
"-I know but seriously the best thing you can do is let me go to bed. This headache is almost as annoying as you." She laughed lightly and seemed like her normal self, maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe she really was just a bit ill.  
"Okay night then. See ya' tomorrow." Ziva hung up before he even had the chance and Tony sighed taking off his shoes. He pulled out his laptop and put his feet onto the coffee table, and started to research. Adam Hallson, Private Security. Adam Hallson, Bodyguard. Adam Hallson, Washington DC. He changed a few words each time but he still couldn't find anything on the guy. The only way he would get info would be using NCIS tech, unlawfully, it wasn't worth risking his job on a bad feeling.

He lay awake for a long time debating what to do. Confront Ziva? Mention it to Gibbs, Jenny? No. That was not a good idea. If he was wrong, Ziva would be pissed. Really pissed. And it wouldn't be the first time he'd let himself get carried away. Perhaps Adam was just a little jealous, or not very good at meeting new people. Or like every other Federal Agent, LEO or Security officer, he just hated NCIS. It could be that Adam just didn't like him, it wouldn't be a surprise, he was the sort of person you grew to like over time. Abby had once said he was like a piercing, it takes a while for the swelling to go down and the skin to grow back. He preferred to think it was because he intimidated some men, though that could hardly be the case with Adam. Adam was all muscle, strong, he emanated masculinity. Dark hair, dark eyes, like Ziva, the most defined jawbone he'd seen in a long time. Objectively he was attractive, he could understand why Ziva had fallen for him. Tony tried his best to stop thinking about it, he finally decided just to leave it alone. Ziva acted odd every once in awhile, and he was probably overreacting about Adam. If there really was a probably, Ziva would've kicked his ass to the curb. She could handle herself.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Heya, hope you like this one. Just so you know, I know very little of American Law and therefore I've had to guess/make it up, for a couple of moments in this chapter. I tried to be as realistic as possible but I've only studied the English Legal System, sorry. Please review :-) The first person to review, if they leave a name, will be the next body found by NCIS. The people after, who review, may be suspects ;)_

 **Chapter Four**

Having been late the previous day, Ziva made a special effort to be early that morning, however it didn't make much difference. Adam was at his apartment, clearly not awake yet as he hadn't texted her, then again who was up at 5am? Only Ziva. She looked in the mirror after her shower, Abby hadn't been wrong yesterday, she did look like 'hell'. Her eyes had dark circles under them, and her lips were paler than usually, her skin as always was beautifully tan but it looked tired. She held her hands under the water and then attempted to wash away the dark circles, hoping it might just be a bit of residual mascara from the day before, but they persisted just like her slightly red nose and cheeks. It didn't look like a healthy blush, it was the sort of patchy colour one gets with a cold, or when they have been crying too much. Regardless of how she did her makeup, Tony was bound to notice and undoubtedly he would comment. It didn't matter, Ziva thought sighing to herself as she lightly rubbed in her moisturiser. An hour later she was on her way to work, having dried and tied her hair, before applying a light foundation and mascara. She ran her fingers acrosss her lips with a balm that added a touch of natural berry colour whilst sparkling that went well with her very basic face. She only wore the foundation to cover up her face's uneven colour, and mascara to draw attention from the dark bags below. She stopped at her favorite on route coffee shop and decided to pick up one for McGee and Tony also, hopefully they would be at NCIS before they grew cold. She liked her's to cool quite a bit before drinking, though she'd never tell Gibbs. Ziva imagined that Gibbs drunk hot coffee in big gulps that reached his stomach before it even had time to burn the mouth.

It was a challenge to balance all three take out cups in one arm as she flashed her credentials at Hank the security guard, not that he ever actually cared. He knew who did and didn't work there, but he still had to check for procedure purposes. She pushed the elevator button Squadroom floor with her elbow holding her badge with her chin against her neck. Quickly, before she fumbled and dropped everything, Ziva placed the coffees on the floor and tucked her badge and ID away in her jacket's zipped pocked, when the doors opened at her destination she grabbed the coffee and walked to her desk. No one else was at their desks but she knew Tony was in, seeing his bag leaning against the desk. Putting the coffee down slowly she made certain to keep it far enough from his keyboard, just incase, and went to sit down at her desk.  
"Ziva? How come you're in so early?" Tony asked strolling up behind her.  
"I usually arrive before you...DiNozzo." Ziva was trying to be playful in the way she slowly said his last name, but it ended up sounding sharp.  
"You were yesterday." He snapped back annoyed. "Sorry, I'm tired, no coffee this morning…"

"Check your desk." She smiled watching his eyes light up at the cardboard cup.  
"You didn't get one for Gibbs?" He teased her taking a sip of delicious hot coffee. The first taste was always the best, when it trickled down his throat.  
"You are not going to fool me that easily, Tony, I have been here long enough to know that Gibbs get's his own coffee." She smirked at him taking a sip not falling for another his usual immature tricks.  
"Ah well worth a try." Small talk was working so far, he dismissed the idea of asking her about Adam, like she had said he was probably just having a bad day.

"Hey McTardy." Tony shouted watching the Probie stride across the bullpen.  
"I'm not late, Gibbs isn't even here yet. Cheers." McGee smiled at Ziva thanking her as he held up the cup he found on his desk.  
"Well some of us have been here since 7!" Tony tossed a baseball lightly in his hand, leaning back in his chair.  
"At least when McGee is here, he is working. I assume in the extra time you had this morning you did the last of the cold case paperwork?" Gibbs asked rethorically, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.  
"Err…" His mind went blank briefly till he actually processed what Gibbs had said, recovering from the brief shock."Yes Boss, on your desk." Gibbs briefly achknowledged him with a look before inspecting his Senior Field Agent's work. The phone rang and they all reached towards the bags expectantly waiting for the three words.  
"Grab your gear, got a dead navy dependant." Ziva and Tony reached for their guns and badges out of their desks, chasing after McGee and Gibbs. They reached the elevator with seconds to spare before the doors shut.  
"Murder?" Ziva asked Gibbs trying to ease the awkward silence.

"Well I dunno Ziver, she was shot in the head." He said sarcastically, if it were anyone else it would've been seen as rude, but to the team it was just Gibbs usually blunt attitude.

An hour later they were following up the usual leads, Gibbs was with the spouse in the conference room, McGee was checking the home computer, Tony had bank records, and Ziva was with Abby helping with evidence. Tony sighed at his desk rustling papers back and forth whilst switching occasionally to his computer. He checked the wife's recent credit card transactions, nothing at the time of the murder Ducky had estimate, no alibi. There was also no motive however so she wasn't yet a suspect. Not offically anyway, Gibbs usually expected more than 'It's always the spouse' before dragging them into interrogation. The wife's prints were all over the scene, which was to be expected as she lived there.  
"Hey Tony." A deep voice said. He looked up and saw Ziva's boyfriend, looking just as large and masculine as the night before. Adam.  
"Adam. Ziva's not here right now, sorry." Tony went back to staring at his computer.  
"Well do you know where she is?" Adam tapped his foot impatiently.  
"Dealing with evidence." He replied bluntly not paying attention. He'd just found something in their statement.  
"Where?"  
"Evidence garage." Adam started to walk away. "Adam you can't go down there, it's a restricted area, you can't access the lift without a retinal scan."  
"Can you tell Ziva I'm here then?" A please would be now, Tony thought.  
"No sorry, she's working and I think I just found something. I gotta go." Tony rushed up grabbing a piece of printed paper to take to Gibbs.

Abby and Ziva moved the furniture in the small face to resemble the crime scene pictured in the photographs, a blood coated dummy playing the dead wife.  
"So the table was broken...here," Abby said comparing the pieces to her photo. "Then she fell on the rug…" Abby moved the dummy and placed it down carefully moving the arms to the positions of the victim's. Ziva's phone buzzed loudly on the table.  
"Sorry Abby carry on." It buzzed again and Ziva looked at her apologetically as she reached to answer.  
"Adam? I'm at wor- Okay. You're where?" Ziva ran her hand through her hair distressed and tried to keep calm. "I'll see you later, you can't be here while I'm working a case. Fine. I'll be right up." Ziva grabbed her stuff from the side table and held her eye to the scanner. "Sorry Abby, back soon!" She yelled as the elevator doors shut. She tried to breathe normally, and not to look panicked. But why was he at her work? What did he want?

"Hey Ziv. Was wondering if you were avoiding me." It sounded like a joke but neither of them was laughing.  
"What's wrong? You know I'm at work. I can't..You can't be here…" She trailed off uselessly as he glared.  
"I'm taking you to lunch. You know Tony was just here a minute ago, took something up to your boss." Adam stepped closer to her to assert his dominance, like he always did with her. "He was acting odd with me, did you say something?  
"No I haven't said anything about you to him. What is there to say?" Ziva smiled trying to reassure him.  
"Because if you did…" His voice lowered to an almost whisper and he hushed the last few words so quietly Ziva barely heard him. She swallowed slowly.  
"I didn't."  
"Good, come on, let's go." He grabbed her coat for her and briskly walked towards the elevator, she had to almost run to catch up with him before the doors closed. She sent a quick text while Adam signed out, explaining to Tony and asking for him to cover for her.

Tony rushed up the stairs and knocked on the door of the conference room, he opened the door slowly and handed him a piece of paper. Gibbs smiled, he was gonna nail the son of a bitch. Tony left quietly and grabbed a cup of water from the cooler feeling he had earned a break, albeit brief. His phone buzzed from his pants and he checked the message. He sighed, first she was late now she's playing hooky? No wonder she needed him to cover, which of course he would do but still something wasn't right. He went back to his desk and ran Adam's name through a basic DBS check, nothing alarming. He then checked his full police record, no jail time served, no convictions. However he looked further and then, finally, he found something. A charge made against him and then quickly dropped, there was also a restraining order against him from the same woman. He closed his tab and pulled up the restraining order, issued by Judge Carlson, it was still valid, he scrolled further down. Here we go, Tony thought, got it. Adam Hallson is hereby ordered to remain a distance of at least 100ft from Emelia Thompson on the grounds of….Oh God. Tony switched off his computer. The weird behaviour, the bruises, lateness, Adam, it all fitted together. He had tried so hard not to think about that, but it was the only explanation. But why hadn't Ziva said or done anything? Surely she could handle herself. Tony sighed, he needed to talk to her before he did anything else. Whilst he didn't think it likely, if he was wrong it could ruin their friendship. If he was right, well he still might lose her.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: Hi guys so sorry for a late chapter! I went to London for an interview/selection day for ICS. I passed and as a result I am being sent to Malawi for three months to do charity work. (July to September.) To do this I have to fundraise £1500 pounds, so I have been very busy planning fundraising. If anyone would like to donate: it's the JUST GIVING website (Fanfic wont let me put urls) with /christine-liddle1 on the end. This also means I will not update or upload anything over that time, but I will try and post a few chapters in advance before I leave Anyway please enjoy this chapter and as always please review, and please donate! :D_

 **Chapter Five**

We need to talk. That was all he sent, he didn't bother to sign it, she'd recognise his number when she saw the text. He felt it was slightly unfair to ambush her when she returned from lunch with Adam, especially given the nature of the conversation. It needed to be approached delicately. He'd considered telling Jenny, or Abby, he had no idea how to deal with this problem. I mean sure they had cases with similar events occurring, but this was someone he knew, his friend. Ziva returned before Gibbs had even noticed she was gone.  
"What was that text about? Did I miss something to do with the case?" She said breezily returning her bag to the side of the desk.  
"Well yeah, we got a new suspect. Scarlett Shepherd. But that's not what I want to talk to you about." Ziva looked up in concern and expectant, waiting for him to continue. "Can we go somewhere...private?"  
"No Tony, whatever you have to say we can discuss it here." Tony looked at her with a seriously and slightly sad look and she relented. They both headed towards the elevator to make use of Gibbs' improvised office. He pushed the button for the floor below and pressed the emergency stop button seconds later.

"Ziva, are you okay?" He asked quietly with a deadly serious tone that made her uneasy.  
"Of course Tony, why would you ask that?" She forced a smile and a little giggle to suggest he was being ridiculous.  
"Ziva. Don't. I can't...I can't ignore what I've been noticing. The bruises, the weird behaviour, is Adam-" he trailed off waiting for a second to figure out how to phrase it.  
"No." She quickly butted in before he could finish his sentence.

"You didn't let me finish. Listen Ziva I did a criminal record check and-"  
"-what business have you to nose into my private life DiNozzo?!" She asked angrily. Tony hadn't expected her to be this defensive, he thought maybe she just didn't know how to ask for help but now it seemed she didn't want it at all.

"You're my partner. My friend. I care about you Ziva. Did you know he's got a history of violence?" He asked quietly trying not to meet her angry eyes.  
"Yes Tony. I know, it was a mistake. Adam told me what really happened. He would never do anything like what they said he did." Ziva lied through her teeth unable to think of what else to do.

"Ziva the evidence…" He stopped as she glared at him. "Look I'm just looking out for you Ziva, as a friend. You can talk to me you know."  
"There is nothing to talk about." She folded her arms and stared him down. "Adam is a...lovely man."  
"Do you want Gibbs or the Director to find out about this?" He asked trying anything to get her to open up. Ziva stepped closer, closer than was comfortable especially with the death stare she was giving.  
"Are you threatening me?" She asked bluntly.  
"Is he?" Tony retorted stepping even closer, making deliberate eye contact trying to figure her out. Wishing she would put down her guard. He so badly wanted to believe her, but her defensive behaviour wasn't making that possible.  
"There is nothing for them to find out about." Ziva pressed the emergency button and the lift moved upwards slowly. "And I suggest the next time you use law enforcement databases _illegally_ you check your facts first." She made sure to emphasize the word illegally, if he was going to use dirty tactics then so would she. They both stepped out of the elevator and went back to their desks quietly neither looking at the other.

Tony ran his fingers through his hair, like he always did when he was all out of ideas. He'd confronted her, perhaps not in the delicate way he originally intended however. She had lied straight to his face, there was no way it was all a mistake. Why wouldn't she let him help her? Why did she lie? Was she scared of him? These questions and more circled his mind as he tried with difficulty to work. He could confront Adam but what if Adam thought Ziva had said something to him, that could make things worse. If he went to Gibbs it definitely would. Director Shepard was another option, the added bonus that she was female and might be better to talk to Ziva but if he did that he was jeopardizing Ziva's placement as Mossad Liaison. The last thing Ziva would want would be to stay if he told Jenny, she'd hate him. There was no right answer, whatever way he looked at it. He could go to the police, but he knew how these things usually panned out and it is never good for the victim. The perpetrator usually just gets let off unless the victim testifies, as there's no case. Ducky. Ducky was an option, he knew about psychology amongst many other subjects. Maybe he could figure out why Ziva wasn't letting him help, or why she would stay with a man like Adam? Ziva had kicked his ass before in practice sessions, she could take Adam. Why would she let him beat her? It was so out of character, Ziva was his strong independant woman and yet at the dinner she seemed to be shy and timid in the presence of Adam. It was that thought that resolved him to do something about it. Something must be seriously wrong for Ziva to be acting this way.

At the end of the day Ziva rushed off before Tony could stop her so he sent her a text instead. _Can I come round? We need to finish our conversation. :)_ He added the smiley face so it wouldn't seem too serious but he regretted it a second too late after he already hit send. His phone buzzed seconds later and he glanced at it nervously. _No you cannot, and no we don't. See you tomorrow Tony._ He sighed to himself and returned the phone to his pocket, he had to do something before it was too late. The problem was if he told anyone he would be betraying Ziva's trust, not that she had really trusted him, but still it was private. He couldn't confront Adam, and asking Ziva hadn't really work. He would just have to come at it from another angle. He waited twenty minutes and then left NCIS for her apartment making sure to leave it long enough she wouldn't think he followed her straight home. When he knocked at the door she opened it slowly smiling before she even saw who it was, when she did the smile vanished.  
"Tony I said not tonight. I'm tired." She sighed exasperated.  
"Is Adam here?" He asked awkwardly, what would he do if she said yes?  
"No, he is working. Why did you want to accuse him of lies?" Ziva held her foot behind the door as Tony tried to walk in. "Please if you want to talk we can talk tomorrow."  
"Will you actually talk to me, or just lie like today? Look Zee, I'm your partner. I'm your friend. You can trust me. Whatever you tell me I promise not to say anything to anyone else unless you want me to. Now are you going to invite me in?" He joked at the end with a little chuckle trying to make the situation less heavy. She moved her foot and stepped back so he could enter.

"Do you want a drink? I have beer." Ziva asked shutting the door behind him. Tony nodded and she grabbed him a cold one from the fridge. She sat opposite him at her dining table waiting for him to speak and yet at the same time hoping he wouldn't.

"Look I don't know what is going on, and I won't unless you tell me, but I know _something_ is going on. You're acting odd, being late, missing work, the bruises, the dinner. You can understand why I'm worried. I want you to know you can tell me anything, and whatever has happened you can always ask for help." Tony said waiting for a reply. Waiting for a lie. When she said nothing he continued. "It might feel like you're in too deep, or you don't know what will happen, but if you're unhappy Ziva you need to get out of it. I might joke a lot, and I know I fool around but you can talk to me. Honestly." He placed his hand on top of hers, he could've sworn it was shaking a little.  
"Tony I can't- There is nothing to tell you. I am fine. Honestly." Her eyes betrayed her.  
"Ziva everyone needs help sometimes, even you. Whatever is going on right now, it is not your fault. No one deserves to be hurt Ziva, and if Ad- anyone is hurting you I need to know. I need to help you. Whatever you tell me will be between us." He took a deep breath still resting his hand on hers.

"You make it sound so easy…" She replied hopelessly.  
"It isn't easy. I know that but it's easier with support, there are people who can help you. Numbers you can call if you don't feel comfortable talking to me. Maybe Abby could help? I can't stand seeing you like this Ziva." He replied.  
"Like what?" She snapped annoyed. "How do you see me? Huh? This is not something you can fix Tony, no one asked you to, and nothing needs fixing! Get out." She stood up angrily and opened the door for him.  
"What…" Tony said shocked at the sudden change, she was so close to opening up and then...what had he said?  
"You heard me. Get. Out." Her voice was calm yet icy, he felt if he didn't get out of there she would probably kick his ass out. He stood up and shuffled towards the door leaving the untouched beer on the table.  
"I'm here for yo-"  
"Out." She ordered finally. Once he was just beyond the threshold she slammed the door harshly. He lingered for a moment, and he could've sworn he heard her sobs. On the other side Ziva was shrunk down on the floor her back to the door trying to catch her breath. That's how he saw her, as a victim. That's how they would all see her. A victim of her own stupidity for letting it get that far, no one could know. No one.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: I promised on chapter 4 that the first reviewer would get a mention in the story, so keep an eye for that in this chapter! :) I hope you are all enjoying this story, although seriously guys I'm insecure I need reviews! I only had a couple on the last one, and found myself wondering what I did wrong. I hope this chapter is okay, and I hope the other one was too. I always appreciate comments, whether praising or constructively criticising. :) Please for the love of god, feed my ego :p (kidding...sort of)_

 **Chapter Six**

The next day Ziva wasn't in, Tony tried calling but there was no reply, he assumed she didn't want to see him or speak to him. However there was a small voice telling himself something worse might have happened. He called four times, no reply.  
"Hey McGee?" He shouted across the squad room, with his eyes still fixed on her empty chair.  
"What?" McGee said annoyed looking up from his computer. Gibbs wanted his reports in by the end of the day, and he wasn't even halfway done. Thank god there was no open case.  
"Can you call Ziva, she's not in. Gibbs says she's ill but I just want to check she's not too sick." He babbled awkwardly, trying to laugh off his concern.  
"Call her yourself then." Tim replied sighing going back to typing.  
"I can't my phone won't work can I borrow yours?" Tim threw his phone across the floor and Tony caught it with one hand. He stood up and moved far enough away that the probie wouldn't hear. It rang for a few seconds before she picked up.  
"Hello?" Ziva asked quietly when he said nothing. "McGee?"  
"No. It's Tony, you wouldn't answer my calls." He could hear her annoyance through the phone.  
"Tony I'm not feeling very well. Please can you let me be." On the other end of the call, Ziva's thumb hovered over the hang up button.  
"You sound fine to me. Are you okay-" He stopped, hearing the shouts in the background.  
"I'm fine. Bye." Ziva hung up quickly hoping Tony hadn't heard what Adam said. Tony looked at McGee's phone as the dial tone rung. He quickly dialled another number and held it back up to his ear.  
"Hello, yes, I need to report a case of domestic abuse…"

Ziva stormed through the building in the morning, with anger and hurt written all over her face. The man at the desk barely had time to ask for her ID before she shoved it millimetres before his face and then snapped it shut. When the elevator reached the squad room, her eyes darted around searching. There was barely anyone in, but he was.  
"Ziva I-"  
"Save it. We need to talk. Now!" She was visibly fuming, Tony was in deep deep trouble. He knew the risks of reporting it, but he couldn't let it continue. "Alone." At first he thought the elevator but instead she walked to the women's restroom and he followed. She locked the door behind them both and in one fluid moment pushed him against it. Her hand wrapped around his throat. The other one grabbing him by his shoulder and holding him forcefully.  
"Who gave you the right?!" She yelled, eyes watering. "I told you Tony to stay out of it."  
"I'm sorry Ziva I couldn't stand by whilst you were getting hurt. Has he been arrested?" Her grip on his throat tightened and he winced. He was forced, in that position, to stare at her face. It was bruised, noticeably, there was no explaining that one away.  
"No. Because I told the police what I told you. There is nothing going on. You were mistaken!" She stressed the last word, but once again her eyes were lying.  
"Ziva, why are you protecting him? Do you think this is normal? That you're are dealing with it fine on your own? That black eye on your face says otherwise." She loosened her grip, hearing his voice straining. He took this opportunity to push her off him. Her arms fell down at her side uselessly.  
"Tony it is none of your business. You don't understand at all." She sighed and sat on the sink top counter.  
"Of course I understand Ziva! It's perfectly okay for him to hit you! That's alright with you huh? Of course it is, hitting women is a-okay with you, right? Right?! What if I hit you Ziva, like he does, what then? You gonna let me? Huh?" He yelled angrily frustrated at himself and at her.  
"No...It's different-" She stopped herself quickly.  
"Or what if I go down to the lab and slap Abby around! That's okay to you? Well?! IS IT?"He stood inches from her face shouting.  
"Please Tony...stop….just stop." The tears were rolling down her face more rapidly and he took a deep breath.

"I can't Tony. Just leave it alone." Ziva said wiping her face with a tissue Tony handed her. He sat down next to her slowly  
"No. I won't." He moved closer to her, and stared at her puffy eyes. "Tell me Ziva."  
"There is nothing to tell." She lied taking a deep intake of air trying to return her breathing to normal.  
"Then why are you crying? How did you get that black eye?" He handed her another tissue, and she wiped her red nose.  
"I walked into a door. Honestly Tony. Adam sometimes yells when he gets angry, and that's mostly because of his work, but he would never hurt me. And I'm crying because you're yelling at me, and you went behind my back." Tony tried so hard to believe her, but the stammer and lack of eye contact made it difficult.  
"Ziva I reported Adam because I was worried about you. For you. I can't help that, and I'm certainly not going to apologise for caring about my team mate, and my friend. I can tell the difference between a bruise made by a fist, and from bumping into a door."  
"Please just leave it alone." She begged wanting the conversation to end desperately so she could escape from the questions.  
"I care too much about you to do that. Now either you talk to me or-" He's cut off as someone bangs on the door. Ziva opened the door to Director Shepherd who frowns seeing DiNozzo.  
"Officer David, my office. DiNozzo, back to work. Don't let me see you in here again." Both of them look awkward as they exit the room. Ziva is panicking inside, Jenny being formal was never good.

Ziva sat down at the chair opposite Jenny, the desk between them. To prevent from fidgeting she sat on her hands, which was somewhat uncomfortable but not nearly as the silence was. Jenny stared at her for a while.  
"What is it you wanted to see me about Jenny?" She'd known Jenny before even joining NCIS and yet at that moment it felt like her friend was about to interrogate her.  
"In here, at work, it's Director Shepherd." Ziva knew she was in trouble, when they were alone she never insisted upon official titles and formality. "I got a call yesterday from a Metro Detective. He thought I might be interested as a call out was made to one of my agents yesterday evening."  
"That was a mistake Je-Director Shepherd. Don't worry I have fully explained to the police."  
"I wasn't finished. I especially found this a surprise because one of my agents had made the report. I want the full explanation please." She leaned back in her chair, Metro hadn't really told her much about the call out but she wouldn't reveal that to her subordinate. Also she wanted Ziva's story rather than a game of chinese whispers from the police.  
"Tony saw a bruise I had gained from martial arts-"  
"The bruise on you eye?" Jenny interrupted gesturing to Officer David's face.  
"No, a different one. He was also concerned by work I had been missing, and for whatever misguided reason thought that I was in trouble." Ziva sighed putting her head in her hands.  
"Are you in trouble? Officer David?"  
"No Director." Jenny sighed relaxing a little. Ziva couldn't help but feel guilty, lying to her friend and her boss.  
"Then why would he think you are?" The director smoothed her hair back and twiddled with a pen from her pocket.  
"I do not know. You would have to ask him that." There was a slight unintended edge to her voice, so Ziva put on an extra fake smile to compensate.  
"I plan on it. Thank you Ziva." She stood up, signalling Ziva to leave her office. "Send DiNozzo up please."

Ziva relayed the message and sat down at her desk watching Tony sprint up the stairs. What would Jenny ask? What would he say? Who would she believe? Internally she was panicking, externally she was just staring at the stairs. Tony walked through the door and past the empty assistant's desk. It was too early for her to be in yet. He closed the door quietly and sat down where she signalled.  
"Yesterday did you report Ziva's current boyfriend for suspected abuse?" Tony was a little taken aback, Director Shepherd wasted no times on pleasantries.  
"Yes. I was concerned for my friend." He replied confidently, he was not in the wrong and no matter what Ziva had lied about he would not be convinced of that.  
"But not concerned enough to come to me, your boss and hers?" It was a rhetorical question but he felt compelled to answer.  
"At the time I felt it was an immediate threat that needed to be dealt with. I also knew that Ziva would not want me to tell you. I had to make a choice."  
"I want it all from the beginning." Tony stroked his sweaty palms over his trouser legs and wondered where to start. He wondered if it was right to betray Ziva like that.  
"I noticed a bruise on Ziva, she told me it was from martial arts, which I didn't think much about. I then noticed some on her wrists. She was late, missed work, she's been acting off. She comes in looking like cra-. Looking rough. Ziva wouldn't tell me anything about the man she is involved in." He paused for a moment but Jenny looked at him to finish. "I had a gut feeling to begin with. But when I bumped into them at a restaurant I saw Adam yell at a waiter, he was rude and overly possessive to Ziva in my presence. I noticed he seemed to have anger problems. He constantly calls her, he came into NCIS to take her out to lunch. Look Jenny, I had to do something. Even if I was wrong, which I don't think I am."  
"I can understand why you jumped to that conclusion but unless Ziva has actually said something to you, you have no basis for this accusation." Jenny stood up and straightened her skirt.  
"Have you seen her fa-" The door swung open and Gibbs stood there expectant.  
"Got a case. Dead body found at Quantico." Jenny sighed and waved dismissively Tony thanked her and left she just caught the name of the body 'Sue Dooley' as Gibbs left, briefing Tony.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note: Okay guys chapters are going to be less frequent. I have so many exams, my first one is on Thursday! I hope I did well with this chapter, I was so nervous writing it. Hopefully however you'll like it, please let me know in reviews!_

 **Chapter Seven**

Tony was beyond annoyed, how could the director have dismissed him so quickly? He had perfectly valid reasons for why he was worried about Ziva, he'd told her enough to be proof pretty much, and yet she acted like it was nothing. Maybe he should've mentioned his criminal record. Ziva had stopped talking to him except when needed for work, and the rest of the team was starting to notice. Abby had been bugging Ziva, McGee had been pestering Tony. But none of them knew the real reason for the awkwardness.  
"Going down?" Tony asked stepping into the elevator with Ziva, without making eye contact.

"Yes." Ziva replied with an edge to her tone. It was getting worse Tony though, Ziva wasn't just withdrawn with him. He'd noticed the subtle changes ever since Adam, but now she just seemed to come in, work, go home. There were no conversations that weren't related, no jokes with McGee, no gossip with Abby. Nothing. She looked paler somehow, her lips no longer tinted with a rose gloss, her eyes heavy and tired. Her hair was frizzy and messed with stray strands. How could no one else see what a mess she was? Were they blind?  
"Look Ziva I-"

"Save it." Tony sighed and slumped back against the elevator, he had to fix this. Soon. Before Ziva got seriously hurt, more so than already. Tony got out on the squad room floor whilst Ziva continued down to the lab. He strode over to his desk and packed up his things, Adam was working nights for a government official family's home doing security. He'd checked.  
"McGee cover for me with Gibbs." Tony ordered before McGee had a chance to argue he'd already disappeared.

When Ziva got to Abby's floor she didn't go to her lab. Instead she went to the one set of bathrooms no one ever used, there were two sets downstairs and only one was used by people like Abby, Palmer, Ducky, etc. The others were often abandoned. Once alone, she shut the door and let the walls down. She slumped against the door and allowed the tears to fall from her eyes. Thankfully she never wore much makeup, she didn't have to worry about streaked mascara. Once she started she couldn't stop, breathing became harder and harder. Her sobs caught in her throat as she choked on air, gasping for it only to sob again. Her eyes were painful from the salt water, and the crying was giving her a headache, her vision blurred from puffy lids, and her cheeks soaked wet with her anguish. How had she gotten herself into this mess? At first he wasn't like this she thought, he was sweet and kind. Gentle, she let down her walls, and allowed him to see her true vulnerability. Ziva David was strong on the job because she had to be, but when she let down her defences she was just as vulnerable as anyone else. Arguably more so with all the weight she carried on her shoulders. She knew it was wrong, she knew she should tell someone. Adam never meant it though, he always said sorry afterwards...sometimes he cried and maybe she deserved it. After all she had done so many bad things in her life, the men she killed were like leaves on a tree. Too many count. Wasn't it fair that she pay for that? She convinced herself that she was allowing it to happen, that was the only way she could deal with it. She would tell herself this lie over and over. Never fully accepting that he scared her, that he'd pulled her down so deep she couldn't swim to the surface for air, to scream for help. Every time she knew, a small part of her thought 'if I really need to stop this I could', she could raise her hand. Block his punches, fight back, but she couldn't. Physically yes, but the fear crippled her, and her limbs were useless when he stood towering over her.

Adam's apartment was across town, only a twenty minute drive, but it felt like an eternity. He was so riled up, he wanted to punch adam. Again and again. Just like he hit Ziva, but harder. He wanted to see his smug smile, replaced with a split lip. He tensed his hands and gripped the steering wheel, a blue Mini pulled out in front and suddenly in anger he honked the horn several times and gave the finger to the driver before seeing the 'Learners permit 'L' ' sticker.

"Shit." He muttered slowing and down and putting more space between them. He had no idea what he was going to say but it didn't matter, actions speak louder than words. Tony didn't care about being unprofessional, the badge would protect him to an extent. They could never make assault charges stick, Gibbs would make it go away. He parked outside the row of apartments and slammed his door as he got out. His gun was holstered beneath his blazer jacket, not visible, but he didn't want to leave it behind. Just incase. As much as he'd love to shoot the bastard, he hoped he wouldn't have to, but if Adam fought back that was another story… He knocked aggressively and tapped his foot impatiently as he heard 'One sec!' shouted through the door.  
"Tony? What are you doing here, is Ziv okay?" Adam asked concerned, Tony hated him all the more for it. He didn't have the right to act like the caring boyfriend.  
"Aren't you going to invite me in, Adam?" Tony stressed his name glaring at him with ferocity.  
"Okay…" Adam said confused opening the door wide for him, Tony sat opposite him on one of the sofas.

"Zee-vah is not okay." He made sure to make a point of pronouncing her name, she was not "Ziv', not to him. "I know what's going on, and you need to stop."  
"What do you mean?" Adam acted ignorant but Tony saw the glint in his eye.  
"I've seen the bruises, the way you behave. She's scared of you and the Ziva I know isn't scared of anyone. Whatever you've done, whatever you're doing, I'm here to tell you it stops. Right now." Tony ordered. He stood up, trying to intimidate Adam, though it didn't help that Adam was taller and more muscular. Adam stood up and asserted his dominance standing inches from Tony's face.

"You need to leave, now. Stay out of it." Adam growled.  
"No. You're going to break up with Ziva, you're going to tell her you're sorry and that you won't contact her again. And then, Adam, you're going to leave town." Tony stood his ground despite his nerves.  
"Get out. Whatever Ziva's said it's lies or you misunderstood. Now get out." His tone cut through Tony like a knife, there was such rage behind it, and he feared for Ziva even more now being on the receiving end of this sharp knife.  
"I'm not leaving till you swear you won't see Ziva again. You won't touch her ever again, not while I'm around." He took another step closer, feeling the heavy breathing from Adam. Looking down he saw Adam clenching his fists, would Adam hit him?

"Why? Ziva likes it when I touch her but I guess you wouldn't know that." Adam was changing the game, trying to rile Tony up so he hit first. It was working. "Ziva likes it...rough." He lowered his voice with the last word in a disgusting Tony that made Tony snap. Tony pushed on Adam's shoulders and he went stumbling back almost tripping over the coffee table.

"Leave now, or I call the police." Adam said regaining his balance. Tony relented and left but not without one last comment.  
"If you go near her I swear, I will kill you." Tony lifted his suit jacket to reveal the gun and looked Adam dead in the eyes as he backed out of the apartment.

When he got back to NCIS Ziva was nowhere to be found, McGee said she'd gone home early with Gibbs' permission. His blood ran cold, Adam had called her. He must have, oh god what had he done. Ziva was going home to a monster, one he'd gotten extremely pissed. Oh shit, shit, shit, he thought over and over. He rang Ziva she didn't answer. Only on the fourth call did she pick up.  
"Ziva look I'm so sorry, you're right I shouldn't have got involved in your business." He spoke fast before she could hang up.  
"Adam told me what happened Tony." Her voice was shaking, she had to get to Adam's before she made things worse. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Please Ziva don't go to him. He's dangerous, you know that." He begged her running his hands through his hair.  
"You don't understand." Ziva said echoing Adam's words from earlier, what she wanted to say was 'You don't understand what he'll do if I don't go'.  
"I do Ziva, you don't have to be scared of him. Come back to NCIS, we can protect you."  
"You don't need to protect me from Adam, he's a nice guy." She lied her eyes watering, but Tony couldn't see that. "I have to go now, I'm driving." The line went dead and Tony swore kicking the wall. To hell with it, he had to go, it didn't matter what she said. But there was one more thing he had to do.

"How long has this been going on?" Gibbs asked once Tony had finished the story. Tony was taking deep breaths, having rushed through the story in seconds. They didn't have time to waste. Couldn't Gibbs just trust him?  
"Look I don't know but we have to go. This guy's bad news." Tony said trying to make Gibbs listen and understand, Gibbs understood perfectly.  
"Tony with me, McGee stay here, tell the Director." He barked leaving towards the elevator. They went straight to Gibbs car, it was faster, especially with Gibbs driving. Tony sat in the front seat, getting a prime view of all the traffic laws being broken as they sped towards Adam's apartment across town. Stop signs were blatantly ignored, red lights run, cars cut in front, none of it mattered.  
"Why would Ziva-" Gibbs started to ask and then realised it was the wrong question. "Why didn't she ask for help?"  
"You know Ziva boss, she's too proud to admit she needs help, let alone ask for it." Tony reasoned. Truth be told he didn't understand why either. Ziva had the martial arts skills to kill a man, why be beaten by one?  
"Why didn't you come to me instead of the director?" Gibbs growled pushing his foot down on the pedal.  
"Because I thought, as a woman, Jen- the director, might be better able to talk to Ziva." Gibbs didn't bother to glare at Tony, Tony had done the right thing. It was Jenny's fault for ignoring his worries, and he'd sure as hell tear her a new one later, seniority could go to hell for all he cared. Especially if something happened to Ziva.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: Yet again I apologise for a late update, I do not know how you put up with me! But the climax of this story is finally here, please enjoy it. I'll be wrapping this story up soon, I will try to finish it before I leave for Africa as I obviously will not be able to update whilst I'm there. Which will mean no new updates or stories for 3 months, I am sorry guys. But in the mean time enjoy my updates (however slow they may be!)_

 **Chapter Eight**

Gibbs pulled up outside Ziva's apartment, half the car on the pavement, blatantly obstructing a fire hydrant. Both of them had their guns drawn as they rushed up the stairs, worrying Ziva's neighbours as they whispered a plan in hushed tones. Once they reached the door, Tony tried the handle, it was locked.  
"Ziva?!" Tony shouted his ear against the door, his hands gripped around his Sig. "Open the door Ziva!" He yelled looking over at Gibbs. There was silence until…  
"Tony I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow." Her voice was strained they could both hear it through the door.  
"Then open the door!" Gibbs yelled back in response. "Ziva we're coming in." He gave her a heads up just incase, before he kicked the door off it's hinges. He hadn't just broken the lock, but had also snapped the wood around it. Tony took a second to take it in. Ziva was bleeding, from her mouth and nose, and a large gash on her head. He arms were slowly turning pink, to match her right cheek. Adam's large muscular wrapped around her neck, his hand pulling her back by her hair in a very effective choke hold. She could barely breathe as he tightened like a boa constrictor. His other hand was holding a Glock 17 with the cold metal pushed against her temple.  
"Let her go." Tony said calming, he checked that Gibbs had his back and he lowered his gun walking towards them both.  
"No." Adam snarled tightening his grip, Ziva was wheezing trying to pull more air into her lungs.

"Please…" Ziva gasped at Adam, her vision blurring, and she knew soon she wouldn't be able to plead at all. Gibbs would've shot the bastard already, but he was holding Ziva in front of him as a shield. A head shot, would be best but Adam knew this and had pulled Ziva up against his body. He couldn't risk hitting her.

Ziva stared at Gibbs as Tony tried to diffuse the situation, her eyelids were heavy, and she tried to keep the watering pleading eyes open. Gibbs face softened as he looked at her with pity and fear. The last thing she wanted. Ziva's hands were on Adam's arm, trying to loosen his grip a little, but each time she pulled so did he. She gave it her all, digging her nails in, pulling it downwards until her arms, along with the rest of her, fell limp. Her eyes closed and Gibbs took a sharp intake of breath hissing. Adam was suffocating her.  
"Last warning." Gibbs said reassessing the situation and checking his sights. Tony stepped to the side a little so as not to obstruct Gibbs line of sight. Adam growled and loosened his grip on Ziva, his arm moved from her neck and the gun was no longer against her head. He let it drop to the floor along with Ziva, and Gibbs watched anxiously. Suddenly a shot fired. Tony had fired his Sig direct at Adam's head. Unessecarily.  
"DiNozzo!" Gibbs shouted. "Call an ambulance." He meant for Ziva, Adam was dead on the floor pooling blood into Ziva's beige carpet. Gibbs sighed, he had two choices right now. Admit that Tony had shot a surrendering, unarmed, man. Or not. He would've done the same with Ari. He did with Hernandez. He stood up as Tony held Ziva in his arms on the floor and walked over to Adam. Removing a glove from his pocket, he picked the gun up by the glove at the grip and placed it in the corpse's hand. He exchanged a glance with Tony and nothing more would ever be said on the topic.

At the hospital Tony watched the double doors waiting for someone to give him news. Gibbs was pacing back and forth, on the phone to the Director just out of Tony's earshot. He was clearly annoyed, and anxious, and angry. Ducky and McGee were at Ziva's place dealing with the crime scene. McGee didn't really know what was going on, but he would never say no to Gibbs.  
"Got blood here!" He said, Ducky looked up wondering if he was talking to him. Palmer did the same. McGee wasn't used to taking point at a crime scene, he brushed past the awkwardness and took a sample. McGee grabbed a sample and then took the photos. Back at the hospital Gibbs and Tony finally heard from the Doctor.  
"Miss David has a bruised trachea, which will be tender for a while, in addition to this there is severe bruising on the torso, arms and face. A nasal fracture, and two rib fractures. The rib fractures will most likely cause her the most pain, however they are only cracked and should heal in a month or two." The Doctor read fast off his clipboard barely stopping to take a breath. "Upon your request Agent Gibbs, these are the photographs." Gibbs would've preferred an NCIS agent to take them, but he would take what he could get. "You should also know that we found evidence-"  
"DiNozzo. Get these to Ducky." He handed Tony the brown closed file with the photographs and he started to walk down the corridor.  
"As I was saying Gibbs, the blood and semen samples we've taken in combination with the tearing would suggest that shortly before you're-" The voices faded to silence as Tony walked further and further away. He took a deep breath of fresh air as he stepped outside of Bethesda. He had Gibbs' keys and took his car. Before he set off he placed the folder on the passenger seat.

He talked himself out of and into look at the photos several times as he drove, and when he finally pulled into the NCIS car park he was still no closer to a decision. He held the brown card in his hand and nervously opened it. There were photos of every bruise, no matter how small or faded. Some of the bruises were clearly older, while others were still brown and green. There were photos before and after they washed the blood off. All of them she had her eyes shut. There were copies of the X-rays that showed the damage to her ribs. Finally there was a written report of the injuries. He tried to read it but his vision blurred and the moment he saw the next paragraph he shut it immediately. Tony was having a hard enough time dealing with the fact this man had been beating Ziva...let alone... _that_. It felt like an invasion looking at the photos, the ones of her arms and legs were not so bad, but the photos of the bruising on her chest and abdomen were too much. There were scratch marks, deep red lines that cut through her tanned skin. He felt physically sick at the idea of someone doing that to anyone, let alone his team mate.  
"Ducky?" Tony asked stepping through the sliding door into an empty room. Then out of the autopsy cupboard the medical examiner appeared.  
"Ah DiNozzo, Gibbs phoned. Do you have the file?" Ducky asked sitting down at his desk pulling off his blue latex gloves. "Thank you, let's see…" He opened the file and scanned through. He tried his best to be objective but DiNozzo could see his true feelings written all over his face. Lines of worry etched into his skin noticeably.  
"Ducky do you have any idea why Ziva would let-" Tony stopped himself, it wasn't Ziva's fault. "Why she wouldn't ask for help?" He changed his sentence halfway through but Ducky noticed.  
"There are a number of reasons while victims of abuse keep it to themselves, fear, shame, guilt. However in our young Ziva's case it could be pride. Ziva finds it hard enough to admit she needs help, and even more so to ask for it." Ducky slipped off his glasses and turned to Tony.  
"That's true Ducky, but Ziva could-"  
"Ziva is strong and independant on the job because she is trained like that. She projects an image of control onto the people around her, to hide the fact that she is just as vulnerable as anyone else." Tony nodded it made sense. Kickass is how Mossad trained her, but emotionally she was young and vulnerable behind all the walls she put up.

"Will she be okay?" He tried to sound casual but there was a lump in his throat.  
"Yes Ducky, none of these injuries," He gestured to the file as he put on his glasses again. "As I was saying, there doesn't appear to be long lasting damage however the next few weeks will not be painless for Miss David. She's going to need a lot of help." He stated looking at the X-rays.  
"I didn't mean physically." Tony clarified quietly, Ziva could cope physically he had no doubt but clearly there was something more going on.  
"Ziva has been through a lot, and there's no telling how it might have affected her but what she needs now is a friend. Not someone who sees her as fragile, she needs to feel like a person rather than a victim." Ducky was talking a lot of sense, and Tony knew it. Ziva would never want to be pitied, especially in this situation. Being Ziva's friend would be harder though, she was still angry at him he was sure and that wouldn't be better when she woke up. When she found out about Adam...Tony looked over to the cold metal table with a sealed body bag.  
"Yes, our latest guest." Ducky said as Tony unzipped the bag. Adam was still slightly warm, but his face was a pale grey. He considered punching the corpse, though Ducky would not be pleased. It seemed unfair that Adam would escape prison, he knew the types of offenders inmates hated the worst and Adam would have gone through hell in prison. He smirked a little at the thought of it. No less than he deserved. He'd gotten off easier with death, especially with Gibbs. Tony would've have made a DVD out of that interrogation, had it have happened. He left the file with Ducky and headed back to the hospital only to be stopped by Director Shepherd.

"Agent DiNozzo." She shouted across the room as he was about to step into the elevator. "My office." He marched up there, his eyes glued to the ground.  
"How is Ziva?" Jenny asked kindly. All the anger Tony had, towards Adam, her, Gibbs in that moment exploded.  
"As if you care, Madam Director." She hated to be called Madam. "If you'd listened to me this never would have happened! I told you, and you ignored me. Ziva wouldn't be in that hospital bed if it weren't for you!" He was going to lose his job if he didn't stop. The Director had already stood up and was glaring.  
"I've known Officer David for far longer than you DiNozzo. Of course I care, how dare you say other wise. I understand you're upset, but you need to calm down and assess the situation. What happened, happened, and it can't be changed. Now how is Ziva?" She spoke to him like a child, not quite yelling but with an authoritative voice that made him shut up and listen.  
"He almost killed her Jen…" DiNozzo let down his defences and held his head in his hands. "Broken nose, cracked ribs, bruises...everywhere. He nearly strangled her to death, if we'd have got there sooner…" He sighed cursing himself.  
"It probably wouldn't have made a difference. It's not your fault, you know that. You're a good agent, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to your instincts." Jenny said sadly.  
"Never say you're sorry-" Tony started.  
"It's a sign of weakness." She finished smiling a little. "He was my boss too once Tony. Now get back to the hospital and give me a status update when you do." The director said sitting back down at her desk as she left. She crossed her arms on top of it, and rested her head on them. She groaned into her blazer sleeve to muffle the sound. Why hadn't she listened to him earlier, she thought sighing.


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: Thank you to all who read and review, especially to those who review! Trying to wrap this story up now, ideally before I leave for Africa. However at the same time I don't want it to be rushed so I am taking my time also. Enjoy!_

 **Chapter Nine**

The bright light burned as she opened her eyes, at first everything was blurry and obscured by small black dots on her vision. Once she adjusted she saw she was in a hospital room, it had to be, nothing else was this white. Either that or she was dead. Her mind struggled to remember what had led her there, and thinking about it caused pain. Everything caused pain. As she tried to sit up she cried out in agony at the burning sensation below her chest. Looking down she saw it was covered with bandages, like a lot of her. Clearly her scream hadn't gone unheard as a nurse rushed in to help.  
"Where am I?" Ziva asked as the nurse raised the bed slightly and propped a pillow behind her back. "What happened?" She added when she got no reply.  
"Bethesda Naval Hospital Miss David, don't try to move your ribs are cracked." That was all she would say and Ziva didn't know much else, the anasthetic still clouded her mind and she could barely think straight. In the midst of the confusion, and the effects of painkillers that were being fed through the IV in her arm, she hadn't noticed Gibbs was in the room. He sat silently on a chair in the corner, waiting to be seen.  
"G-Gibbs. What happened?" She strained to talk a little, her throat felt like what she imagined a pack a day habit would feel like.  
"Adam." Blunt as ever. Suddenly with his name it all came rushing back to Ziva and she panicked.  
"Is he here Gibbs? Where is he?" She muttered trying to climb out of the bed, she couldn't move without pain and flopped back down on the pillows uselessly.  
"He's dead." A wave of emotions washed over Ziva's face and Gibbs observed them all, fear, pain, sadness, relief, worry. She was so conflicted as to what to feel.  
"It's okay. Rest." Ziva lay her head back on his orders and tried to close her eyes. Her sleep wasn't peaceful due to all the drugs in her system but at least she managed to get some.

The next time she awoke the chair was still occupied, only this time not by Gibbs which startled her a little initially.  
"He went to get a refill." Tony explained. "He'll be back in about an hour probably, hospital coffee doesn't meet his standards." Joking was a mistake, she didn't laugh, she didn't even look at him. She turned her head away and rested it on the other side of the pillow so he couldn't see his face.  
"How are you feeling?" Tony asked kindly walking round to the other side of the bed, in response she turned her head away again back to the other side. "Listen Ziva I-"  
"Tony I am tired. Please leave so I can sleep." She said quietly not looking at him, he nodded and left the room to sit on one of the chairs outside. Once Tony had left and she was alone she buried her face in the pillow and sobbed. Her wet tears soaked the pillow, and she muffled her pain into it. Why did she feel guilty about feeling sad? Why couldn't she just feel normal feelings? Adam had hurt her so badly, and yet she was still angry. Angry at them for saving her? It didn't make sense. How could she be sad that the man who beat her was gone? There must be something wrong with her.  
"Gibbs wanted me to tell y-" Tony interrupted about to relay a message, only to stop at the sound of her crying. "Oh god, Ziva. I'm sorry."  
"I am fine, I do not want your pity Tony." She muttered wiping the salt water from her face. "I banged my nose on the pillow forgetting it's broken."  
"Do you need anything? I can get the nurse." He didn't believe her for a second but he'd play along with her lies. "Some ice? Don't want your nose to end up looking like Mike Tyson." He snickered trying to lighten the mood, he failed.  
"Just leave me."

Ducky took over from Tony, it wasn't a chore but they had all agreed someone would be at the hospital with Ziva at all times and since there were no autopsies to do he volunteered. Even though Tony wanted to stay he knew she needed time. When he got back to NCIS everyone was acting as if everything was normal, it was infuriating. It wasn't normal. How could it be? Gibbs and McGee were doing case work, Jenny in her office, Palmer was probably cleaning pipettes, and some probie was taking round a get well card for 'Officer David'. He didn't even know her that well, also get well? I'm sorry you almost got beaten to death, get well soon! It seemed like everything was determined to irritate him that day.  
"DiNozzo!" Gibbs yelled, Tony looked up and stopped grinding his teeth.  
"Yeah Boss?" He replied wondering what he had done wrong. It was always something.  
"Go home." Tony blinked, was Gibbs really giving him permission to leave early. "You too McGee." Gibbs added, so it didn't seem odd. The truth was he could see how much this was hurting Tony and he couldn't bare to look at it anymore.  
"You don't need to tell me twice. Night." Tony said grabbing his stuff as McGee shut down his computer.  
"See you tomorrow Gibbs." They both said rushing for the elevator once the doors closed Tony put down his backpack on the floor and sighed.  
"Did Ziva say anything to you?" McGee asked nervously.  
"Apart from get out, does it really matter?" He replied sarcastically. "I want to help her but I don't know how…" He admitted quietly.

Once he got home he had a quick shower and changed. After he'd filled up on coffee he sent a text to Ducky and headed for the hospital. When he got there he grabbed another coffee from the machine and went to Ziva's room. He opened the door and stepped quietly trying not to wake her.  
"How's she doing?" Tony sat down on one of the fold up chairs in the room, and put his coffee on the floor by his feet.  
"Well her Doctor, Doctor Baxter- fine fellow, said she should be okay to go home tomorrow but I'm not sure it's wise." Ducky said sipping tea from a paper cup. The string of the tea bag dangled over the side, he'd brought his own blend.  
"Why?" Tony said. "What did Ziva say?"  
"Well physically speaking, she is mended enough but emotionally I'm not sure it would be good for her to be on her own. Ziva did not listen, and despite the fact Baxter reccomended someone be there to help her at home, she wants to discharge herself tomorrow and go back to her apartment." Ducky shook his head and sighed. "Her ribs will cause her a lot of pain walking, she might need crutches or a wheelchair, they are going to assess her tomorrow. She certainly wont be able to do everything easily, bending down and such." He added when Tony said nothing.  
"Right." Tony said, purely because he did not know what to say. "Why don't you go home, you look tired. I'll stay overnight. I can sleep in the chair." He gestured to the cushioned arm chair Doctor Mallard was occupying.  
"Are you sure?" Ducky stood up and smoothed his trousers. "Thank you, see you tomorrow."

The night was long, but at least the coffee was hot. Tony lost track after his fourth cup. He mostly kept getting coffee to pass the time. Ziva hadn't been awake since he'd arrived, probably for the best. At least this way he could be there with her without her telling him to leave. He sipped from the paper cup slowly watching her sleep, usually people look peaceful, Ziva was far from it. She tossed and turned, murmured and moaned, and he could've sworn he heard her sob once. The nurse popped in once an hour regularly to check on her, and each time Tony nodded awkwardly. At around two in the morning he finally nodded off, only to be rudely awoken minutes later when his hand relaxed and he dropped the paper cup to the ground with a clatter. The noise woke not only Tony, but Ziva's eyes snapped open suddenly too.  
"T-Tony?" She questioned straining her neck to look at him. "What time is it?"

"About two in the morning. You've been asleep most of today." Tony said quietly standing up to put the cup in the bin.  
"I am sorry for how I acted earlier." She whispered quietly. "I know you were only trying to help." She sat up and winced at her ribs.  
"Ziva, don't move the nurse said-"  
"I've been 'not moving' all day Tony. I am fine." She let out a small groan as she moved and Tony raised his eyebrows.  
"Still as stubborn as ever…" He muttered smirking at her determination. "Listen can we talk Ziva?"

"We are talking Tony." Ziva cracks a crooked smile through her bruised and swollen lip. Tony chuckled a little a moved the chair closer to her bed.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you Tony, and I am sorry I lied." She confessed looking at him with a tragic face. "You saved me."  
"I just wanted to help you Ziva, and I'm sorry I told Gibbs and went behind your back. I just, I had to do something." Tony crossed his legs and sighed releived things were going to be okay.  
"I could not ask you, I was afraid of what you would think of me. What everyone would. And I was afraid of Ad-" Ziva stopped as her words caught in her throat.  
"It's okay. Ziva no one, especially not me, would ever think less of you. You're part of the NCIS family. You are family." Tony rested his hand on top of hers on the bed to show his support, in response she moved her other hand and gripped his between hers.  
"Thank you." It was quiet, barely audible, but he heard it. "You should get some sleep Tony, you look like crap."  
"Oh Miss David, you always know how to ruin a lovely moment. I look like hell? Charming." Tony smirked at her trying to get her to do the same. She smiled a little but it didn't look the same with her bruised face.  
"Have you even slept?" Ziva asked staring at the bags under his eyes. "It's two in the morning and you have work, go home."  
"I'm not leaving you Ziva, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me!" He joked laughing, and then to undermine himself he accidentally yawned. Ziva raised her eyebrows. "I can sleep on the chair."  
"And then McGee will spend all day listening to you whining about your back." Tony laughed, it was good that Ziva was teasing him, he didn't mind a bit.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: Oh my god, I am sorry, two weeks. I don't deserve you guys, I am so sorry for being late. Exams, exams, exams, planning for Africa etc. Oh and I also had to go hospital recently, so I vented a little about my hate of hospitals in this chapter. I am trying really hard to finish this story before I leave, but its 14 days till I go and I'm not certain I will, sorry. I hope you like this, please review._

 **Chapter Ten**

Ziva slept for another few hours, waiting till it was considered a normal time to wake up. Although time in the hospital seem to move at an usually slow and distorted place. Tony slept half on the chair and half on the window ledge he was leaning, using a spare pillow a nurse had given him. The caffeine crash had hit hard, and no amount of coffee would help so he finally relented. When he woke up the sun glared and almost burned his eyes, slowly he opened them and let in the harsh light. For a moment he forgot where he was until he looked over and saw Ziva staring into a small compact mirror, prodding her tender nose.

"It won't heal if you do that…" Tony muttered groggily. She winced at the sight and feel of her tissue, it was misshapen and a disgusting shade of purple mixed with undertones of green and yellow. "Sleep well?" Tony asked stretching in the chair.  
"Fine. Though perhaps not the most restful night I've had. I hate hospitals." Ziva groaned.  
"Everyone does, but you should be out of here today." It seemed that Ziva had forgotten about that because at the news her face lit up, and she almost smiled.  
"Great. Let's go." She closed the mirror and tried to climb out of her prison like surroundings but her physical condition continued to restrain her. Tony rushed over as she collapsed back on to the bed and held his arm out for support.  
"Let's just try walking to restroom first before you sprint out of here." He suggested guessing she probably had to go. Ziva nodded and tried again to stand up. The hospital gown modestly covered her, but combined with the nothing underneath and her bare felt naked and exposed. WIth her free arm she tried to pull it past her knees but there was no give, her other arm was gripped around Tony as he held up most of her weight. It was a slow hobble, one that took at least three times longer than it should have. His arm wrapped around her waist, avoiding her ribs, but ready to catch her if she fell.

"Are you going to be okay in there?" Tony said as Ziva pulled the door open, leaning on the wall.  
"I will be fine, you are not going to watch me pee DiNozzo." Ziva glared, but her joke like tone negated the stare.  
"Like it would be any different from you barging into the men's at work…" Tony pointed out as he helped her transfer her weight from the wall, to using the door for support. With the door closed behind her she took a second to catch her breath and rest. She had been faking infront of him, she didn't want to seem any worse but the walk had been agony for her. Every step she took necessitated moving her upper body, her ribs, which were the most painful. Her nose was broken but it didn't stop her moving, neither did the bruises or the lower pain she refused to think about. Slowly she limped to the toilet, one hand on the sink, another on the wall, then on the handles put up for disabled people. She rejoiced in sitting down, even if it was only for a short time, the cold seat was uncomfortable and Ziva had to make a special effort to lean back to avoid bending her torso against her rib cage. When she got up, she forgot, and did so with such speed she doubled over in painful shock. Her arm slapped the seat as she fell and the other one broke her fall when her legs collapsed from under her.  
"Damnit!" She cried out connecting with the tile floor. Tony knocked loudly. "I'm fine. I just...I am fine Tony." She assured him clambering back up. With her should leaning against the wall, she stood sideways to the sink and washed her hands with the foul smelling antibacterial soap. It smelt like every hospital every had, not clean, but clinical and inappropriately pure. Pure annoyance in Ziva's case.

Later that day a young intern wheeled in what could only be described as a 'crappy' wheelchair. Ziva narrowed her eyes with Tony skeptically, would the ancient and broken chair even take her weight? The seat was a cushioned beige and the backrest was a thin brown material that had two different holes in. Tony helped Ziva get into it and they both took a sharp intake of air as the seat dipped with her weight. On his knees the intern started to adjust the foldable rests for her feet. One of the screws came out and it landed with a metallic clatter on the floor. Tony raised his eyebrows.  
"It always does that, you just have to put it back. Turn it clockwise and it should stay in place until you move it. Ziva, guided by the man's hands, put each of her boots on the steps in was so glad to have her own clothes to leave in, and really appreciated McGee bringing them for her. McGee had to go back to work however, and technically so did Tony but it seemed Gibbs was feeling kind as he had no missed calls. Perhaps the Director has overruled him, trying to make up for her screw up, thought Tony. Infact, 'screw up' was the polite term, he still felt angrily that Jenny had ignored his concerns, and in his opinion, completely and utterly fucked up monumentally.

"Tony?" Ziva said interrupting his thoughts. The intern held out a clipboard and a pen.  
"Huh?" Tony said still slightly zoned out. The intern left and the Doctor they had met in the waiting room entered.  
"It's a discharge form ensuring that you understand the risks of signing yourself out, against my recommendations." The Doctor replied stressing the last part. Tony scanned through it.  
"Why do I have to sign it?" Tony asked scratching his head awkwardly.  
"The only way I can allow Miss David to leave is under someone's care, and with no next of kin in the country, she asked whilst you were still asleep this morning that it be you. She will still need help at home, and with everyday activities." The Doctor explained, a worried and yet somehow grateful look passed on Tony's face. She trusted him enough to let him be that person? Yet what did he know about medical care…  
"If there are any problems with either of you, call this number and you will be put through to my cell phone." He handed over a paper card with the details and Tony put it in his pocket carefully. "Ziva, I expect to see you back here in ten days for your check up. Okay?" Ziva nodded in her chair as Tony signed the form. They handed the clipboard back and got ready to leave.

"Tony! I do not need you pushing me around like an invalid!" Ziva shouted frustrated. Grabbing the wheels to roll herself. "Sorry…" She added at her sudden outburst, that had caused several people in the hospital car park. Feeling weak, or needing help, was not something she coped with well.

"It's okay Ziva. Come on let me help you out of that chair." Tony said holding out his hands. He opened the passenger car door and assisted her in climbing in. He shut the door behind her and folded the chair and slung it in the back seat.  
"Your place?" Tony suggested sliding into the driver's chair adjusting his feet over the pedals. Ziva nodded and Tony started the engine. The drive was silent, Ziva liked to think when driving, watching everything outside roll by in a calming manner. Several times Tony tried to start a conversation, but each time she only replied with a one or two word answer. When they got to her apartment it was the first time she noticed how unfriendly it was for wheelchairs. There was no ramp up to the doors, and as such she had to hobble up as Tony lifted the chair. The elevator was barely big enough for a person let alone a chair, Tony was inches from being sat on her in the cramped box.  
"You know, you should uh, really speak to your landlord about disabled access." Tony joked as she reversed out on her floor.  
"I am not disabled." Ziva replied as they came to her door. She reached up and ripped the crime scene tape off the door, throwing it on the floor in a screwed up ball. Clearly someone had tried hard to clean up, but there was a faint stain of blood on the floor, and small missed spots on the walls. She wondered if the bedroom was still messy looking over to the door.  
"No one's been in there, it wasn't part of the crime scene so...yeah." He said reading her thoughts. She rolled over, trying not to get the wheels caught on the rug when she pushed the door open Tony gasped following her in.

There sheets were strewn on the floor, blood on the remaining bed sheets on the bed. Some where her head must have been at the time, at the top of the bed, some...elsewhere. One of the draws of her dresser was on the floor, her belongings scattered everywhere. Ziva tried to bend in her chair to pick it up but winced.  
"Let me clear this up. No, no argument. We both signed a form, so I have to, and you have to let me." Tony smirked at her slotting the draw back in and picking up the hairbrush, the hair bands, a clear nail polish. Once the floor was clear he had to deal with the blood, he grabbed cleaning supplies from the kitchen cupboard and started to scrub at it. With his homemade solution most of the stain was gone in no time, and he left a small amount of the liquid to absorb into the carpet to blot at it later. Ziva had gone into the main living area of her apartment while he worked, the smell of chemicals made her feel ill. He pulled the sheets off the bed and floor and folded them in towards the stain so it wasn't visible.  
"Does your apartment have a laundry room?" He asked emerging from the newly tidied room, it looked cleaner than it ever had when he was finished.  
"In the basement." Ziva replied.  
"Awesome. I'll be back in a second then." Tony said hesitant to leave for a second before reminding himself she would be fine. When he got back she was clearing up spilt coffee on the floor, she was out of her chair leaning against the fridge picked each bean up by hand.  
"I was going to make up coffee, and I could quite reach the coffee in my chair and dropped it trying." Tony scooped up the remaining beans.  
"I hate this goddamn chair. It's more of a hinderance than a help. Hopefully the pain medications will start working soon, and then I can walk." Ziva said as Tony helped her sit down in it again.

Once the troublesome coffee had been brewed they both sat on the sofa sipping it slowly, trying to feel the energy from it but without burning their tongues.  
"It's okay to ask for help, you know, it's okay to need help. I know you aren't helpless Ziva, but this chair is only temporary. You'll be back to your old self in no time." Tony said putting his cup down to look at her.  
"I know that." Ziva replied taking a small sip.  
"Until then, you have to accept that people are going to want to help you. Yeah, it's annoying but you can't do everything by yourself. You have to let me help you. For now at least."  
"It is not easy for me, just like with Ad-" Ziva stopped abruptly.  
"You don't have to talk about it till you're ready. You just need to know that we are here for you, behind you, I've got your back Ziva. I will always have your back." He rested her hand on her shoulder in support. Her eyes were watering a little at the combination of the circumstances and his kind words.  
"For all the jokes you make Tony, all the time you pretend not to care about anything, you are a very kind, caring, person. One day you'll see that yourself." Ziva said looking into her partners eyes.  
"Hey, don't get 'sappy' on me. The only reason I gotta do this, is cos' I signed that form." He joked back half-heartedly.  
"Of course." Ziva smirked sipping the coffee. "Well since you signed that form, could you grab me a banana from the counter? I can't take the medications on an empty stomach." She added explaining.  
"Nope." Tony said grinning. Ziva raised her eyebrows and started to reach towards the chair. "A banana is not a meal Ziva, you need real food."  
"I do not have much in." Ziva leaned back sighing, she hadn't been shopping before...She hadn't been shopping.  
"Let's go out then, we could go into NCIS, and stop somewhere on the way." He suggested standing up ready to help her.  
"Looking like this?" She gestured to face and bruises. Tony nodded helping her climb up.  
"Ziva everyone will be glad to see you, even with your Mike Tyson nose." He teased holding out his finger mocking her, as if her were going to poke it. With her uninjured hand she grabbed it and twisted his hand round.  
"Try it, DiNozzo, and you will be the one needing this chair." She threatened smiling ear to ear, and Tony laughed enjoying her good mood. It seemed like the first proper smile he'd seen in awhile.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Chapter 11**

* * *

 _Author's Note: Slightly longer chapter, but I didn't want to rush this part. A lot of the stuff concerning the wheel chair, and how people treat you differently because of it is taken from life experience. Not me personally, but my friend who suffers from ME has to be in a wheel chair part time and often deals with similar issues. Anyway please enjoy. I leave in 6 days and hopefully should finish this in time. If not I will stay up the night before I go to finish it. As I have a midnight flight that will be good anyway as I can sleep on the plane! I'm not even going to bother asking to review at this point, you know the drill, it makes me happy and gives me more motivation to write etc. Enjoy this chapter!_

 **Chapter Eleven**

The cafe they had lunch at was lovely, they sat in the outdoor seating, it was much easier to manoeuvre the wheelchair that way. Tony held at his arm ready to help her move in the seat.  
"It's fine, I am already in a seat." She joked at Tony. Seconds later a waiter appeared with the menus, before he left he gave a sad smile to Ziva. It was frustrating. Yes she looked like hell, bruised, broken, barely able to walk but she didn't want pity from strangers. She clenched and unclenched her fists several times to try and calm herself.  
"I'm think 'The House Burger' and fries. What about you?" Tony asked looking down at the menu.  
"Probably just a Club sandwich and salad. We can't all eat like a teenage boy, Tony." She added when Tony smirked at her. They put down their menus and moments later the waiter came swooping in, as if he had some sort of radar that allowed him to know when to strike.  
"Can I have 'The House Burger', with fries, coffee to drink thanks, and a Club sandwich with salad and a diet coke." Tony said ordering for the both of them and handing back the menus. The waiter looked at Ziva for a brief second and then turned back to Tony.  
"We have seating inside if your friend gets cold." Ziva tried not to sigh and Tony look irritated also. "Also I can ask the chef to cut the sandwich smaller, if necessary."  
"Why don't you ask her? Instead of talking like she's invisible?" Tony said frustrated.  
"It is not necessary. I am perfectly fine, thank you." Her voice was steel. It was the second time that day people had asked about her to Tony, as if being a wheelchair meant she couldn't speak for herself. The waiter looked incredibly embarrassed, he had her best interests at heart but clearly he had made a mistake.

"Okay. I'll uh... go get your drinks then." He scurried away holding the menus awkwardly.  
"I think he was just trying to be nice." Tony said trying to make it okay, he could see she was a little upset and very annoyed.  
"Yes, just like the woman at the ATM who asked YOU if I could reach." Ziva retorted. "How long till we can take this chunk of scrap metal back?"  
"Hunk." Tony corrected. "When the Doctor says so. I know, look I know it's annoying Ziva but you have to let yourself heal properly or you'll make it worse." Tony sighed and leant back. Ziva said nothing and once again it was awkward. Tony messed with his phone a little and sent a couple of texts before putting it away to look at Ziva. Waiting for a reply.  
"I'm sorry Tony. I keep 'whining' about it and yet there are people who have to be in a chair their whole life. I don't mean to be so rude, it is just...frustrating. Thank you for putting up with me, and taking care of me." Ziva said resting her hand on top of his to show her thanks.  
"You don't need to thank me, it's me job, I'm your partner." Tony replied casually as the drinks arrived, the waiter saying nothing. Probably for the best.  
"No it is not. This is above and beyond, you know that." Ziva said smiling.  
"I'm not just your partner, Ziva, I'm your friend." He squeezed her hand to show support and let it go to take a drink of coffee. She had missed the moments like these.  
When Ziva and Tony arrived at NCIS they noticed yet another disabled access problem they never had before. For visitors they walked through the scanner, but employees had to go through an automatic gate (which wasn't large enough for a wheelchair) after scanning their ID. Ziva sighed and Tony walked through the gate as she rolled around the side showing the security her badge and ID.  
"I never noticed how hard it must be for people who have to be in a chair constantly. Someone should mention it to Shepherd. There isn't even a ramp up to the building." Ziva said pushing the call button for the elevator.  
"I guess it's a different perspective, helps you see things better. Like walking in someone else's shoes and all that." Tony said nodding in agreement.  
"Do they know I'm coming?" Ziva asked pushing the button for the squad room floor. She carefully swivelled the chair, so she wouldn't have to reverse out.  
"I texted McGee, but I think they have a case. Not sure." Tony said leaning back against the metal rail. He quickly sent another text to McGee before the elevator stopped. The doors opened with the usual chime and Ziva rolled herself out slowly. They approached the bullpen slowly but there was no one around. Ziva's face fell a little, barely noticeable, but Tony saw. She hadn't wanted a fuss made over her, but it was a little disappointing that no one seemed to care she was back from the hospital. She refused to say it out loud of course. Just as she was thinking this she suddenly jumped in her chair, so much that she almost tipped it over and Tony steadied her.

"SURPRISE!" Abby shrieked louder than everyone else who too jumped from behind the partition. Abby pulled a small party popper and then a piece of string. A rolled up banner on her desk, that she had somehow missed, unravelled to reveal 'Welcome back Ziva!' painted neatly on it. One of the interns threw a couple of balloons into the air and Ziva was lost for words.  
"Oh my...wow. Thank you everyone so much." She said struggling to speak, still recovering from the initial shock.  
"Wait wait wait. That's not everything." Abby said jumping up and down like a small child. She loved parties. From under Gibbs desk she brought out a cake with piped icing that matched the banner. Ziva clasped her hands over her mouth, overwhelmed Gibbs and Jenny were stood next to each other watching as Abby delighted in showing her the cake.  
"Abby that's so thoughtful, thank you." Ziva said. "It looks beautiful." She added, it was white with blue icing coincidentally (or perhaps not) the colours of the Israeli flag. For about ten minutes several of her co workers came by and she thanked them each, some for cards they had sent to the hospital. Some for the flowers they were giving in that moment. It appeared somehow everybody knew despite it being private. She felt conflicted, everyone was being lovely, but at the same time it was none of their business. After the small party people had to get back to work, taking a small slice of cake on a paper plate with them to their desk. Everything had gone back to normal and Ziva was relieved. Being that social was exhausting. Tony had offered several times to take her home, noticing her tired state, but she refused wanting to get back to work. She couldn't do field work, but she had all but begged the Director and Gibbs to do desk work. Something she never thought she would do. Desk work was a nightmare, but better than being sat at home or laying in a hospital bed. She still hurt despite having taking the pain medication. Her body ached from the bruising but she still got on with her work, the way she always did. Silently without out a fuss. Tony glanced at her every thirty seconds, or at least it felt that way, even with her eyes on the file she could feel his concerned stare. Eventually she got tired of it and went for a bathroom break. Tony stood up.

"I am going to the ladies." Ziva said shutting him down she sat back down and heading for the restroom. The push door was a challenge in the chair, but not one she couldn't conquer. However she definitely couldn't get the chair into the small cubicle. She lifted herself out slowly using the wall for support and limped in. Determined not to fall again she was very careful and managed to make it out without giving herself more injury, however she then realised after getting back into her prison on wheels that she couldn't reach the sink on the counter from it without stretching her body forward. It took several minutes to wash her hands, reaching upwards with her torso in pain and when she finally leant back she groaned in discomfort. When she was finished she threw away the paper towel and headed for the lift down to autopsy, she needed to see him. Ducky was there, she had briefly spoken to him at the impromptu party but all he asked was about her medical state and how she was coping. Like everyone else she told him 'I'm fine'. It was becoming her catchphrase.  
"Ah Ziva my dear." Ducky said as the doors slid open. Palmer was nowhere to be seen. "Are you alright?" He asked standing up from his desk closing the file. He wasn't quick enough and she saw the pictures of herself and the notes from the Doctor. She ignored it along with his question.  
"Has anyone claimed his body?" She didn't need to be more specific. Ducky shook his head and took off his glasses to clean them. "Please could I have a minute alone with him?" She said quietly.  
"Of course, number 14." Ducky said exiting quietly towards the lift. Ziva rolled over towards the draws and luckily he was in the middle row, so she didn't have to reach to pull him out. She looked for a long time at his body, not even thinking anything just noticing. His skin was pale, ice cold, greyish in colour. The blood had been washed off but she could see the bullet wound. It was hard to process what she was feeling, sadness, relief, worry. It all merged into one. One overall feeling of hurt confusion. Part of her was disappointed also, that he wouldn't see justice. Death was one form of justice, but the idea of him being in prison seemed better. At least that way he would pay for his actions, death seemed to be little consolation for her as it meant his suffering lasted seconds rather than years. She hated herself for thinking these things, she wanted him alive so she could see him hurt. She wanted to hurt him. She wiped away the tears from her face, and slowly touched his arm. Would he have cried in prison? He always said he was sorry, maybe he really was.

The doors opened and Ziva jumped.  
"Doctor? I'm sorry I know you have work to do." Ziva went to close the draw but stopped.  
"It's me." Tony said. "I'm sorry I just-" He stopped, there was no excuse and he regretted coming in. He'd been watching from the door and he couldn't stand to see her tears. Ziva was trying desperately to stop crying, she wouldn't cry in front of Tony. She couldn't. Yet the more she tried to will them away the harder they fell, small sobs uncontrollably escaping with them. Tony walked over to her and kneeled on the ground so he could hug her. He wrapped his arms around her slowly enough that if she wanted him to stop she could say so. Instead she leaned forward into his shoulder as he held her warmly. His suit muffled her sobs and she buried her face in it as he tightened his grip a little making her feel safe and protected.  
"Ziva it's over. You're safe." Tony whispered trying to calm her. She said something, but it came out muffled. She pulled away to look at him.  
"It's not fair." She stated as she wiped her cheek. "He doesn't have to go to trial, to be in prison, he's just dead. He doesn't feel regret, or shame, or pain. He doesn't feel anything." She confessed as Tony held both of her hands on her lap.  
"I know Ziva. I'm sorry." Tony said honestly, he thought Adam being dead might give her closure but it had the opposite effect. "I'm so sorry..." He repeated, he wasn't sure what for. He didn't regret killing Adam, he regretted that it hurt Ziva this way. He was sorry she had to go through this mess, he was sorry he didn't do something sooner. If he had it might have been different. Ziva would be so hurt, physically and emotionally, Adam would be in prison paying for his crime.  
"It's not your fault Tony." Ziva said reading his thoughts. "It's mine."  
"Don't say that, don't you ever say that." Tony said hugging her again. "None of this is your fault. Please don't say that Ziva." She stroked her hair as she wrapped her arms round his back desperately trying to cling to him for support. She never liked hugs, especially when she was upset, but this time it was different.  
"I need you to tell me it's going to be okay..." Ziva said weakly, letting the last of her defences down. Tony was briefly shocked hearing this from Ziva, she was never clingy or needy, no matter what the circumstances.  
"It will. We're all here for you Ziva. It's over. It's all going to be okay." He repeated this, and similar things several times till she calmed down and managed to breathe normally. The tears stopped and Tony pulled out a packet of tissues from his pocket. She wiped her eyes and her nose and threw the tissue in the bin and handed back the packet.  
"Tony I'm s-"  
"It's okay Ziva. I understand." She didn't need to say anything, she was going to apologise but he wouldn't let her. "There is no shame in crying. None"


	12. Chapter 12

_Author's Note: The final chapter, I leave for Africa in two days and this felt like a nice comfortable place to stop. I may pick it up again when I get back, but no promises. As this is the final chapter I want to thank you all for your reviews, 50+ is amazing! Shout outs to Debbie, Sue Dooley, DS2010, Kai, oldmoviewatcher, Regina, NCISSVUGirl09, John Wick, and all others who reviewed. Thank you to all the guests and people who left anonymous reviews also. A special thank you to NinjaCom who left a lovely long review on this and my other story, Salvation and Damnation. Please check her current TIVA story, it is set post Family First *SPOILERS* and is about Tony realising Ziva isn't dead after all. So yeah, this is it guys, I'll be gone from Wednesday, I really hope you all liked this story. This chapter was one of the most difficult to write, it's such a difficult subject and a challenge personally for me to even think about let alone write about. I don't think anyone is sad Adam is gone however, I was surprised that none of the reviewers seemed to care that Tony essentially shot an unarmed surrending man! I know he was vile but still...it was sort of illegal. Ah well, as always please review, maybe extra long reviews as a going away present? *wink wink*_

 **Chapter Twelve**

Tony asked permission from Gibbs to take Ziva home and to his surprise it was granted. Being around so many people had been exhausting, and she also had a headache from the crying in autopsy. In the car Tony passed a bottle of water to Ziva with one hand, his other on the wheel.  
"What's this?" Ziva said as Tony fished out a box of painkillers from the side door compartment.  
"For your headache. You're probably dehydrated also, even though it probably doesn't seem like it, you lose a lot of water from your body when you, well ya know. Headaches are usually a good indicator of dehydration." Tony said and Ziva stared at him open mouthed, he was probably right. Wow, Tony actual knew something useful, she thought smirking.  
"Well I'm not sure I should take the pills, as I'm on other medication, but thanks." Ziva said taking a large drink of water. Ziva had thought the ride would be awkward, but somehow it wasn't. Despite the fact she had bawled like a child in front of him, and had more hugs than Abby does in one day, he didn't look at her like she was broken.  
"What time do you have to be back?" Ziva asked tucking the bottle between her legs to hold it.  
"I don't. Gibbs told me to take the day." Tony said glancing over at her shocked face. "Yeah, I know! I guess without any open cases it's quiet there anyway."  
"Can I ask, did you know about the surprise party?" Ziva said wondering why Gibbs had been so nice.  
"Yeah I did, sorry. I tried to suggest it wasn't the best idea, but you know Abby." Tony laughed nervously.  
"Yes I do. Can't say no to her! You know she once convinced me to go shopping? It was about 5 hours of black, and more black, a little red, then more black…" Ziva said chuckling. "I did not blend into her 'goth' lifestyle at all, we went to some rock bar afterwards and I'm sure I saw someone on a leash." Ziva told him laughing, Tony kept his eyes on the road but continued to listen.  
"Well why do you think Abby always wears collars?" He joked back whilst trying to park outside Ziva's. Ziva's eyes widened at the implication of his question and stopped talking about it. The last thing she needed was an image of her co-worker on a lead. Tony smirked at her face as he put the handbrake on and went to get the wheelchair out.

She still hadn't quite adjusted to how long it took to do the simplest things, and by the time they finally crossed the thresh hold of her apartment she was cursing under her breath. Tony went straight to the cupboard to get her a glass of water and make himself a coffee. He handed her the water and she put it on the table slowly before climbing out of the chair and onto the couch.  
"Tony it's okay, you can go home." Ziva said. "Gibbs gave you the day off, make the most of it."  
"I am." He replied cheerfully sitting on the armchair next to the couch. He took a sip of his coffee and set it down smiling.  
"You do not want to be trapped here with me like my carer!" Ziva joked but she was also sincere.

"Well I signed the form so I kinda do." He answer with a smug face.  
"Tony…" She said as though she were trying to scold a child.  
"Ziva…" He cut in deliberately to wind her up.  
"The form did not say anything about you needing to watch me 24/7. If I have any problems I will call you." Ziva promised. "There is no reason why we should both be housebound" She added.  
"If I go home I'll just be watching TV, I can do that here. Why are you trying to get rid of me?" Tony asked genuinely.  
"I'm not I just don't want you to feel obliged to stay just because of what happened. I will be fine on my own." Ziva didn't look him the eye but instead stared at her hands.  
"It's not because of that. You couldn't fallen down the stairs and only sprained a wrist and I would still be here Ziva. I know you are fine, and perfectly able without me here but you're my friend and you are not getting rid of me that easily." Tony said in a tone that left little room for debate, Ziva knew she couldn't change his mind.

"What do you want to ask?" Ziva sighed putting down the TV remote. They had been flicking through channels for an hour but most of the time Tony was watching her. "I can feel your eyes searching."  
"Nothing I jus- Nothing. Maybe we could put on a movie?" Tony said awkwardly. He wanted to ask so many things but he knew he couldn't without being the most stupid insensitive man in the world. He wished he could ask, when did it start? What did he do to you? Are you angry at me? Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you stop him? He couldn't ask those, especially the last one, he knew Ziva wasn't invincible but he couldn't shake the thought that she could fight most men, why not Adam? He could never ask that, he knew it wasn't her fault, but questions like those sounded like he was suggesting it was.  
"Ziva, do you want to talk about it?" The safest question to ask, Tony thought. Ziva switched off the TV and set the remote down.  
"I am not sure. I know that you clearly do." She replied slightly annoyed.  
"No I don't want you to say anything you aren't comfortable with, I just, I can't stand not knowing Ziva. I feel like maybe if I knew I could help in someway...I dunno I'm just being stupid. Ignore me. Let's just watch a movie." Tony said rambling.  
"Tony I know that talking about things is supposed to help, but I have never done that. I just deal with things myself and it works well, sort of. I do not even know where to begin with telling you, I do not even know how." Ziva said burying her head in her hands.  
"Like I said you don't have to if you don't want to…"

"I do. It is difficult. What do you want me to say? I made a mistake, okay? Clearly." Ziva said annoyed at herself.  
"No. You didn't. He made the mistake." Tony corrected and then regretted interrupting.  
"I thought he was lovely. When we first met we had so much in common, similar line of work, both fitness enthusiasts, he was funny, sincere. That is what I thought." Ziva said leaning back. "At some point it changed, the first time he swore it was an accident and he'd never do it again. The next was different. I tried to block him but he is, was, very strong. I didn't know what to do. I was afraid of him Tony and maybe I deserved it. I thought so at least. I spent too much time at work, I talked about work a lot, sometimes I annoyed him. At the time I thought it was my fault, and it wasn't that bad. I loved him and I thought he loved me."  
"Ziva that's not your fault. No one deserves that." Tony said moving to sit next to her.  
"I knew if I told the police he would probably get put on bail anyway and then he would come back for me, even worse because I told the police." Ziva said trembling a little at the thought. "When you threatened him, he blamed me, he started getting worse. He wouldn't let me leave him apart from work, he wanted me to call him all the time. He thought I was cheating on him with you and called me all sorts of things. When he hit me he said I deserved it for being unfaithful to him." Ziva said remembering one of the worst nights. "It wasn't your fault Tony. I guess at some point I stopped seeing them as individual incidents, and it just became part of the relationship. I couldn't tell NCIS, they would never trust my judgement again, the idea that I let it go on for so long...That I fell in love with someone so...I was afraid of what the consequences would be." Ziva said slowly.  
"How often?" Tony asked quietly.  
"I do not know...I did not keep count. Hitting me? I think several times a week." Ziva sighed hopelessly.

"Did he...do anything else?" He knew the answer, he'd seen the medical report but he needed to hear it from her.  
"Tony I can't...It wasn't like that. We were a couple so of course we did that and sometimes he wanted to when I didn't...if I was tired from work, or going to bed, he ju-"  
"He raped you." Tony said bitterly.  
"Don't say that. It wasn't like that…" Ziva could barely hear the word without inwardly flinching.  
"Yes Ziva it was, it doesn't matter if you had sex with him before, or if you were a couple, or anything. What he did was wrong."  
"I know that but I spent so long trying to justify his actions, I suppose, to justify mine for staying with him that I am not sure what is right and what is wrong anymore. It hurt less to think it wasn't wrong, to pretend to myself that it was all fine." Ziva explained and Tony understood. "I know what you are thinking Tony, that I could've asked for help. It is easy to say when it is not you. I almost told you but I couldn't I didn't want you to see me like that. I couldn't let anyone see me like that."  
"Like what?" Tony asked confused.  
"Like some helpless victim, that was too foolish to leave him, or too weak to stop him, or too stupid to stop it when I had the chance." Ziva was sobbing, and Tony didn't know what to say.  
"You will never be foolish, or weak, or stupid. You are strong. No one sees you as a victim Ziva, everyone admires your strength, how you are coping afterwards. How even with the wheelchair you don't let anything stop you." Tony smiled at her and handed her a tissue.  
"Thank you, really, this has helped." Ziva said wiping the tears and her nose.  
"This doesn't define you Ziva, people won't think of this when they think of you. Not me, not Gibbs, no one." Tony smiled. "For a start all I think of when I see you is flashbacks to your first day, I am sure I have PTSD from your driving…" He smirked at her trying to get a smile. He succeeded and she laughed a little. They talked a bit more about it that night, but mostly watched some old movie, Ziva explained why she never spoke up and Tony finally understood. He left her place at around 9pm but he was back there by 2am.

"Tony?" Ziva said into the phone her voice quiet.  
"Yeah…" He murmured groggily.  
"Oh sorry I woke you didn't I?" Ziva said, Tony could hear she was upset.  
"No of course not." He sat bolt upright in his bed and did his best to sound awake. "Just watching sports. Catching up. What's up?"  
"I did wake you…" Ziva said releasing. "It doesn't matter, go back to sleep." She hung up on him awkwardly and sighed. She hadn't expected to have nightmares, Adam was dead, and as Tony had pointed out it was all over. Yet still she had woken up sweating and sobbing, something she rarely did. Probably talking about it, remembering it, earlier had made it fresh in her mind and triggered the dream. About ten minutes later there was a knock at the door Ziva jumped and reach for her gun. Then realising her current state she reached for the chair next to the bed she held the gun on her lap as she rolled to the front door. She grabbed it from her lap and held it tightly as she opened the door a crack and peered round.  
"Jesus Ziva is that really necessary?" Tony said looking at the gun. Ziva sighed and opened the door.

"Why are you here?" Ziva asked confused putting her gun on the kitchen counter.  
"You sounded upset on the phone." Tony answered stepping inside.  
"It is two in the morning…" She pointed out.  
"And? What's up Ziva?" He said concerned looking at her closely. She was in nightwear and he could see some of the old bruises now with the vest top covering little.  
"It's nothing I just had a bad dream I'm sorry. You didn't have to come." Ziva felt awkward, it sounded silly saying it outloud.  
"You said you would call me if you had any problems, and I said I would come round. I wanted to Ziva, do you want some tea?" He asked unsure of what to do, but tea seemed to be the right thing. He made her a mug and he stood leaning on the counter watching her trembling hands grip the cup.  
"I'm sorry I woke you…" She said taking a sip.  
"You didn't, it's fine. Wanna talk about it?" Tony said resting a hand on her shoulder.  
"Not really. Could we just sit or something…" She replied going over to the couch. Tony would always remember that as the first time she fell asleep in his arms, her head rested on his shoulder and he stroked her hair in a calming way. Ziva was so glad to have a friend like Tony in her life, she felt ashamed that she needed him there but still grateful. A few moments during the night she tossed and turned but Tony held her close and whispered assurances in her ear promising she was safe. The next morning they both acted as though it hadn't happened, it was easier that way for Ziva, for her pride. She hated asking for help, and though Tony was slowly helping her to know it was okay, she felt embarrassed that she had called him over a nightmare. She knew he would always be there for her, and one day she hoped she could do the same for him.


	13. Chapter 13

_Author's Note: Never before have I needed to put an AN so much aha! So yes, I am back from Africa. It has given me plenty of ideas for my Somalia story to say the least! The volunteer work was amazing and has opened my eyes in the most wonderful way. In fact in October I am moving to Athens, Greece because of my Africa travels. I want to see more of the world! My goal is to be as travelled as Ziva, and hopefully to speak as many languages, I'm already working on Greek whilst still continuing with my Hebrew studies. Do not fear, my laptop is coming to Greece, I will still continue to write! I have missed it so much, and this chapter was a delight to write. It ended up being a lot more 'Tiva' than originally planned but let's be honest, who doesn't want to see Tiva? Please review, for the love of Gd, I have missed reviews and talking to you guys!_

 **Chapter Thirteen**

Ziva David sat impatiently in the waiting room with Tony at her side putting up with her incessant foot tapping.

"How much longer is this going to take?" She sighed standing up with her back to him nervously.

"Zee-" Tony began and she swung her head round to glare at him. He thought better of trying to calm her anxiety.  
"We have been here for two hours already!" Ziva declared exasperated.  
"Half an hour…" Tony corrected he waited for the response but luckily the entrance of her Doctor saved him.  
"Finally." Ziva muttered under her breath whilst still smiling brightly towards the Doctor. They both followed him from the waiting room to the office. The Doctor performed many tests on Ziva much to her annoyance and Tony sat awkwardly trying to be there for her supportively.  
"Miss David I'm going to need you to lie down and lift your shirt." He explained slowly, Ziva nodded understandingly, he needed to check her ribs were healed fully. "Perhaps your partner can wait outside." He added as a suggestion, Ziva's Doctor was fully aware that partner was only meant in a professional sense.  
"No!" Ziva said sharply forgetting herself. "I mean...I would like him to- he can stay. If that's okay?" She asked quietly trying to get over her sudden outburst.  
"Whatever will make you most comfortable." The Doctor said simply. Ziva lay down slowly on the table which was slightly elevated to keep her head up. She peeled up her shirt, thankful that despite how uncomfortable it was she had worn a bra that day. Slowly the Doctor removed the bandages delicately. He noticed her small flinches.  
"Is there pain?" He asked concerned. Ziva shook her head as he prodding the centre of her ribcage with two gloved fingers. Tony watched her with equal worry of course he knew the source of her pain and it was not her body. The night previous he had been at her apartment, like most nights, and she had confided in him her fears. Tony sat and listened to her as she explained her anxiety when people touched her only stopping when he assured her it was perfectly natural.

" _I know that they will not hurt me and yet-" Ziva stopped unable to finish.  
_ " _Ziva if you had been attacked by a dog no one would expect you to not have a fear of dogs afterwards. It is perfectly natural, it will just take some time to trust people again."  
_ " _What is wrong with me Tony?" Ziva sobbed. "Abby hugged me early and all I felt was tense, I know she could tell. Why does he still affect me this way? Why can't I just return to normal? No one is going to stop seeing me as fragile if I can't even hug my team mates without flashbacks." Tony took a deep breath and stroked her hair slowly.  
_ " _You don't flinch with me." He stated simply. Ziva smiled at him softly. "Everything takes time Ziva and you are normal. This is a normal reaction. No one sees you as fragile, only the opposite. You are the strongest woman, person, I know." Tony squeezed her hand gently reassuring her.  
_ " _Tony you don't have to-"  
_ " _It's true."_

Tony and Ziva now sat on chairs side by side opposite the Doctor behind his desk.  
"In my medical assessment for Director Shepherd I have concluded that you are fit enough to return to 'Field Duty' Miss David. I shall send it by this afternoon, you should be back to work as usual on Monday." Tony grinned at Ziva who was still slightly shocked. She had been dreaming of the chance to get back to normal at work and finally she could. The rest of what the Doctor said was muffled to her, all that mattered was she could return to the field. She thanked him and shook his hand loosely before leaving.  
"Didn't I tell you?" Tony smirked. Ziva pushed him playfully on the arm. "What do you want to do now, still have the rest of today." He stated, thankfully they usually had Sunday's off from work.

"Tony you do not need to stay with me, I was probably just going to do some reading, reply to emails…." Ziva trailed off as they left the hospital building.  
"Well I assure you, Miss David, I have nothing better to do." He replied playfully. They both walked closely together towards his car, parked on the sidewalk in front of the hospital. Illegally. Having a badge did have it's advantages.  
"We could go to mine for a change, watch a movie?" Tony suggested opening the passenger side door for her.  
"Your place? Tony I do not think, that in all the time I have known you, you have ever invited any of us to your apartment." She laughed at his face of mock shock.  
"Really? Well then you should count yourself lucky!"

They'd watched 4 movies at Tony's and the darkness had descended without either of their notice. They didn't pay much attention to the movies but they served as a conversation starter when things got too quiet.  
"You said last night, about flashbacks?" Tony asked quietly. "Are they bad?"  
"DiNozzo, I'm not going to see a shrink." She sighed annoyed.  
"I'm not asking you to." He pointed out matter of factly.  
"I don't have PTSD Tony." Ziva replied reading his thoughts. "They're not really flashbacks, sometimes I just remember things, memories, bad ones. It isn't too vivid usually."  
"And when it is? Vivid I mean." Tony held her hand in support after he watched it tremble reaching to pause the movie with the remote.  
"Only when I am asleep. He is only in my dreams Tony, and I can live with that. It is better than it was before. It is not every night anyway."

"I wish you had said something. I could've helped."  
"How? Coddle me even more so? Like a child?! Read me bedtime stories? Or tuck me in at night? Really Tony!" Ziva was half shouting half crying.  
"No." Tony replied calmly. "I would've been there when you woke up. I would hold you until he was gone and then I would stay to make sure he never returned." He couldn't look her in the eye as he said this. It was too serious for him. "I care too much about you Ziva. So much it hurts. I know that you're safe but the idea of anyone hurting you, even only in your dreams, it hurts me. It aches."  
"I never realised you-"  
"What? Cared so much. Ziva you know how much I care for you, it has never changed. You are not just my partner, you are my best friend and I wish you could be smiling every second of each day because _nothing_ would make me happier." He stressed the word nothing as he made eye contact again.

Tony and Ziva had often stretched the definition of platonic many times in their relationship but never more than they did that night. Ziva stayed the night and slept in his bed, fully clothed, a soft warm human blanket wrapped around her. Tony held her as she shook in her dreams, he stroked her hair till she went calmly back to sleep after waking with a cry. All that night he stayed awake, on alert, ready to comfort her. The old Tony probably would have made a move by then, but he didn't want Ziva's body anymore. He just wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to feel safe and for some reason he felt as though he could never be peaceful until she was. He would never truly be happy unless he could ensure that she was also. That night something changed between them, unspoken of course, but the boundaries of their friendship were tested considerably. _  
__"_ _Why don't you flinch with me?" Tony whispered as she turned her body to face him.  
_ _"_ _You're different." Ziva stated resting her hand on his chest.  
_ _"_ _Why?"  
_ _"_ _You know why." She smiled at him as he arms wrapped around her. "I trust you Tony."_


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's Note: It seems I cannot stop writing this story, and I also know that a lot of you enjoy reading it, so here is another chapter. Consider this to be part two, or the start at least. If this story were a season, then this chapter is the finale before season 2. I hope you like it, please review!_

 **Chapter Fourteen**

Tony stared down the elevator, it was a one sided contest and he was losing. It was 07:57 McGee was already there, Gibbs clearly had been as his coat was draped over his chair, and the only person left to arrive was Ziva. It was her first day back since she'd been cleared for field-duty and he wasn't sure why she was late. Technically she wasn't, but before Adam she usually was there at least half an hour before they start. 07:58. Three more minutes and then she would be late. He looked at his watch and started to track the second hand until suddenly he heard the ever familiar chime of the elevator. Ziva walked up to her desk and in an instant he knew what she was doing. Her face was stone, showing no emotion, her hair pulled tightly back in a low ponytail, her makeup slightly darker. She was trying her best to look and act strong and deadly, as if nothing could ever get under her skin or pierce her amour. There she goes again, Tony thought, putting up walls.  
"Morning," Tony greeted with a goofy grin, "How are you?"  
"I am fine. Gibbs?" Her voice was all business, it appeared as though she was going to act as if none of it had happened, as if the closeness they had formed was irrelevant.

"Gibbs," Tony started, "is probably in MTAC." He hoped she was just being this way in front of McGee, and that later as they had been doing for sometime he would come to her apartment and they would watch a movie.  
"Ah." said Ziva.  
"Yeah." Tony replied awkwardly. McGee stared at the pair of them wondering what the hell was going on.  
"So Tony did you watch the red socks game?" McGee asked trying to start a real conversation.  
"No probie, I was busy." He threw a look to Ziva, which she ignored.  
"With a woman I'm sure." McGee replied cynically.  
"In a manner of speaking. Anyway, since when do you watch sports?" Tony laughed and threw a crumpled ball of paper at his co-worker's face. McGee caught it and threw it in the waste paper basket next to him with a sigh.  
"Got a body." Gibbs said in a booming voice walking through the bull pen. "Rock Creek Park Lieutenant Commander Katie Harrows." The team rushed to grab their gear. Tony slammed his draw shut after slipping his weapon into his holster, and slung his backpack over his shoulder. Ziva clipped her badge to her belt on her way to the elevator as they all followed Gibbs in. The drive to Rock Creek was relatively short. Tony sat in the back with McGee, constantly winding him up as Ziva watched from the front through the rear view mirror. Gibbs pulled up to the scene, it was already crawling with local LEOs, and the public who stood watching from behind the tape.

"Tony bag and tag, McGee talk to the witness, Ziva sketch and shoot." Gibbs ordered. Ziva followed behind Gibbs towards the body that Ducky and Palmer had somehow beaten them to.  
"What we got Duck?" Gibbs asked as Ziva began taking photos of the young woman's body. She was about 5'10, with blond tangled hair, and had an array of visible injuries. She was in uniform but parts of it were torn, and some of the fabric was stained with blood.  
"TOD approximately five hours ago, and look here," Ducky gestured for Gibbs to bend down, "Defensive wounds." Ducky said decisively. "On the arms here are consistent with what we would see when a person blocks punches. Yes, this woman clearly took quite a beating before her untimely demise." Ziva tried her best not to listen anymore as she began taking laser measurements.

"Adam don-" She cried out bringing her forearm up to block her face. He grabbed her wrist tightly, so hard she thought he would break it.  
"SHUT UP!" Adam shouted loudly, "Just shut up! Why do you make me do this Ziv?" He asked rhetorically. He let go of her wrist and she cradled it gently trying to take away the pain  
"I'm sorry…" Ziva muttered quietly trying to diffuse the situation. "Come on let's just have a glass of wine, watch a film." She reached out a hand tentatively to put on his shoulder but he pushed her away, too hard. Ziva used all her balance to stay upright as she was sent backwards with his forceful shove.  
"You're always trying to tell me what do do huh? Aren't you? Trying to control me." Adam said turning away from her. She gave up and went to go sit on the bed in the bedroom away from him.  
"Hey! We're not done!" He protested following her. "You just gonna run away from me then. Is that how you solve a problem, running away like a little _bitch?_ " It was the first, but not the last, time he ever called her a swear word. He'd swore _at_ her before, telling her to shut the ' _fuck_ ' up, but never had he called her a bitch. Suddenly she snapped, and she swung out and slapped him with an open palm, it wasn't hard but immediately she regretted it. His eyes turned cold, and his face was hard as he reached towards her. She cried out in pain as his fist connected with her torso, he pounded her repeatedly with his hands. Desperately Ziva tried to kick him off put his weight pinned her to the bed.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Adam you don't want to do this- please. This isn't you." She begged but it fell on deaf ears. Eventually she fell silent. An hour later after putting his clothes back on Adam left the bedroom as Ziva lay limp on the bed clutching her pained stomach, trying to breathe.

"David!" Gibbs said in a raised voice making her jump as he snapped her out of the memory. "Go help Tony with the sweep of the surrounding area." Gibbs barked as Ducky threw him a glance.  
"It seems our Miss David may need some more time." Ducky commented.  
"Cause of death?" Gibbs asked ignoring his observation. Ducky went back to examining the body with Jimmy as Ziva walked toward Tony who was crouched down picking up cigarette butts up. She pulled on her rubber gloves and went to assist.  
"So are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I have to guess?" Tony asked jokingly to mask his worry.  
"I do not know what you mean." Ziva lied.  
"Come on Ziva," he replied seriously, "Don't do this, not now."  
"It is nothing. That is all I am going to say now _drop it_." Her voice was sharp and she glared at him briefly before returning to work.  
"You say that but your eyes say something else…" He muttered bitterly, why wouldn't she tell him? Hadn't he proven she could confide in him? That he could help and support her?  
"I just remembered something, okay? Something I didn't want to remember. Happy now?" She asked her voice annoyed.  
"No of course not, you think seeing you in pain makes me happy? I wanna help Ziva."  
"Well you can't." Ziva pointed out quietly, "Because I don't need any help!" She raised her voice slightly and Gibbs turned his head round towards the pair of them. She stood back up and went to go look for more evidence, evidence away from Tony.

"Are you gonna tell me what is going on with you today?" Gibbs said back at the office pulling Ziva aside. "DiNozzo can be an ass but behaving that way at a crime scene, it's unacceptable. Perhaps you need more sick leave Ziva?" He meant it in a nice way, he was trying to help but that's not how Ziva heard it.  
"What exactly do you think is _wrong_ with me that I need sick leave?" Ziva snapped taking a step forward and squaring up to him  
"So you're going to do this with me too?" Gibbs challenged, Ziva instantly backed down. "Go home, take the day. Sort out your head, if you don't, don't bother coming in tomorrow." He pointed towards the elevator as he shunned her. Ziva stormed off and slammed the elevator button with force. The doors didn't close fast enough and Tony slipped through into the elevator.  
"Tony, I've already had a lecture from Gibbs, I don't need one from you too!" Ziva said sharply.  
"I didn't come to lecture you." said Tony quietly. Ziva leaned against the elevator wall breathing heavily.  
"Then what did you come for?"  
"Answers. What changed Ziva? Did I do something?" Ziva's face softened, how could he think that he was the one at fault? He was so caring and she had treated him awfully.  
"Of course not. I am sorry, I was out of line." She stood up straight and turned to look Tony in the eyes. "It's complicated and I do not wish to burden you with it."  
"You should know by now, it is not a 'burden' to me. Whatever the problem you can tell me."  
"Another time Tony, I can't right now. Okay?" Ziva said as she stepped out of the elevator ready to leave, the doors began to close but Tony put his foot against one blocking them.  
"When you're ready, I'll be here." Ziva nodded slightly and turned to leave.

On the way home she stopped for a coffee and ran some errands. She went to the bank, picked up her leather jacket from the dry cleaners and went to the pharmacy. By the time she was home she looked at the clock and saw that the team would have finished work by now. She began to wonder how the case was going and thought of texting Tony, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. She opened it cautiously, her gun concealed behind her back.  
"Put the glock away, it's me." Tony sighed seeing her arm was hidden. Ziva opened the door wide and let him in. She walked over to the couch and slumped down on it as Tony shut the door.  
"I thought you said it would be when _I_ was ready," she pointed out quietly whilst staring out the window.  
"I did. I'm not here to force you to talk, if you want to I'll listen but I know better than to try and make you talk about something you don't want to," he said grabbing one of his beers from his fridge.  
"I want to tell you Tony but I am not sure how." Ziva confessed as he took a seat next to her. Tony remained silent waiting for her to continue. "You know what Adam did." She stated.  
"Yes." He growled bitterly at the thought. "Is it about him? Are you still having nightmares?"  
"It is about what he left behind."  
"What do you mean? What did you find?" Tony was confused, had she been packing up his things?  
"It is not that." She said as he looked around the apartment. "I think that I am-. I am pregnant Tony."  
"Adam's?" Tony hated to ask but the question had already slipped out and it was too late.  
"There is no doubt. It must have happened when he- before he died. We usually used protection but that time he didn't." Ziva picked at her fingernails to avoid looking at Tony. Tony took a deep breath trying to process the thoughts.  
"Do you know what you are going to do?" He asked quietly.  
"Of course I don't Tony!" Ziva cried out annoyed and upset. "How can I keep it? How can I raise a child that will one day ask where his father is? Who his father is. How do I tell them that their father _did_? How he died."  
"It's okay to be confused, you don't have to make the decision now. Are you certain?" He wanted to wrap his arms around his crying partner, the tears were only few but they pierced his heart, but he sensed that now was not the time.

"I bought a pregnancy test today, I do not know for sure but I am late." Ziva said pulling out a small bag from the pharmacy. "I was sick this morning also." She added.  
"Do you want to do it now? To know for sure before you starting planning what you are going to do?"  
"I think I should know. For certain." She stood up and walked to the bathroom. "I will be back in a moment." She sat down and pulled the stick out of the box and removed the cap off the end. After she was finished she put back on the cap and went back into the living room waiting for the line or lines to appear.  
"How long does it take?" Tony asked awkwardly as she held it in her hands.  
"The instructions say two minutes." Ziva replied tapping it impatiently on the table as if that would somehow speed the process.  
"I think it will be done now." She said slowly her hand covering the answer on the stick, slowly she unclenched her hand and moved her fingers looking down at the result. "It is positive."

 _Author's Note 2: Okay, there we go, what a shock eh? Congratulations if you guessed it before Ziva told him, there were small clues for those eagle eyed people. Let me know what you think in reviews I love to hear what you think, it is also nice to know people like it enough to go to the effort of reviewing. Each review lights up my day, and brightens my smile._


	15. Chapter 15

_Author's Note: It has been a long while and I hope my absence hasn't lost readers. Thank you to those who put up with my infrequent updates. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know your thoughts._

 **Chapter Fifteen**

"It's positive." It didn't sound real, it sounded like a poor taste April fool or a line from a bad soap opera. How could she possibly be pregnant.  
"Ziva you don't need to decide what you want to do now," said Tony trying to be supportive but she couldn't hear him. Everything around her faded to a blur and the sound was ringing in her ears, a deafening silence. She saw his mouth moving but the words weren't recognisable, muffled like she was drowning under water. It felt much the same, the air had gone from the room, she couldn't see the light and it felt as though a heavy weight were pulling her under.  
"I'm pregnant," she repeated several times unable to comprehend, "Pregnant."  
"It's okay. It will be okay." Tony reached out to hug her but she stood up and began pacing whilst intertwining her fingers.  
"I can't keep it," she confessed quietly. "I can't."  
"You don't have to make a decision now."  
"I'm not going to Tony." This time she spoke more firmly. "How can I?"  
"It's not about the DNA Ziva, it's about the parents. You would be a wonderful mother regardless of his father." Tony said trying to reason with her. "Look at all of us, you and Eli, McGee and the Admiral, my father...Not everyone ends up like their father."  
"You think I should keep it?" Her voice was sharp and accusing. How dare he think he had any say?  
"No I just don't want you to regret anything." Tony knew then he'd made a mistake, he only wanted what was best for him but it was none of his business. Her face turned hard and she pursed her lips tightly.

"I can't be a mother Tony. Not with this job." Ziva said annoyed. She began huffing her breath as she grew more and more angry.  
"Ziva you don't-"  
"Just think about it Tony!" She began to act out an imaginary conversation. "Oh yeah, sure Gibbs, I'll diffuse that bomb as soon as I've dropped Adam Junior off at school." She replied sarcastically acting out the fake conversation.  
"Yes, one second, I'll hunt down that murderer once I've arranged a babysitter. Of course Gibbs I'll risk leaving my child an orphan to go undercover just let me finish changing his diaper." Ziva stopped for a moment to take a breath and Tony seized this opportunity.  
"Look just go to the Doctor, talk to them about it. Whatever choice I agree, but make sure you are certain." He didn't want to see her hurt, mourning the foetus that never became her child. She'd already lost too much in her life.

"Fine." Ziva relented and sat back down next to Tony. "Why Tony? Why did this all have to happen...what did I do for this to fall on me?"  
"It's not your fault. Bad things happen, we deal and we get through it. Then we focus on the good." He reached once more to put his arms around her and this time she allowed him. She buried her head in his shoulder wanting to never emerge. It was warm and safe in the crook of his shoulder, dark and peaceful with no decisions to be made.  
"Do you want me to come with you to the Doctor?" He offered quietly while he stroked her hair softly. He felt her head shake.  
"No Tony. No. I am going to book an appointment for tomorrow and how will you explain your absence from work?" Tony nodded in response his chin resting on her head.  
"Okay. Will you call to let me know you are okay?"  
"Yes, and I am going to tell Gibbs it is a dentist appointment. Do not worry, I will be fine."

She uttered those words to herself over and over before the appointment. I will be fine, I will be fine… Constantly circling around her head. Finally the receptionist called her name and led her to a door, room 14. She opened it cautiously as if she were aware that her future path were hiding behind it.

"Miss David? Come. Sit down please." Her Doctor was a man with young eyes and fair hair. Behind his glasses he had bright blue eyes that matched the trim of his coat.

"So why are you here today?" He asked as she perched on the edge of the chair.

"I'm late." The sound barely escaped her throat. "I think I may be pregnant," Ziva clarified. Her Doctor nodded and made notes on his computer, the screen was turned away from her and she wondered what he had written.  
"When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?" Ziva blinked in shock, he was so blunt. She thought back to the date, it was written at the top of many reports next to the case number. Ziva told him how many days it had been since the worst night of her life.  
"Are you quite certain there is only one possible father?"  
"Yes. Very." He typed more notes and Ziva breathed deeply trying to control the urge to ask what he was writing. She knew her file was on there, her notes. Surely the Doctor had read her file, was it on there? Did he know the circumstances in which the child was conceived?

"Right, we'll need a urine sample." He handed her a small plot with a plastic lid. "There is a bathroom at the end of the hall?"  
"Now?" Ziva asked, believing initially she would take it home and bring it back. Awkwardly she disappeared to fill her sample wishing women had the ability to aim. Or at least aim more accurately. Once Ziva returned he took the pot from her with gloved hands and stored it in the small fridge by the table.  
"Once it's been tested I'll call you with the result. Thank you." Ziva stood up and left, her hands shaking by her sides.

 _Finished at the Doctors, it went OK. Will see you later. -ZD._ She pressed send and waited for Tony's reply. She was only minutes into walking home when her phone buzzed in her pocket. _Do you know? -TD._ Ziva slid her phone back into her pocket and carried on walking. By the time she had reached her apartment Tony had clearly gotten impatient as she had two missed calls and another text. _No, I do not know Tony. I will find out soon. Get back to work. -ZD_ She hoped he sensed the humor in the text as she ordered him back to work. Once inside she sat down on the couch and began to fiddle with her phone waiting for it to ring, and dreading it at the same time. Minutes passed and nothing happened until eventually she grew bored and pulled out a book. As she turned the page for the eleventh chapter it finally buzzed in her lap.  
"Hello?" She asked eagerly.  
"Hello this Doctor Crolan. I have your results from today." The line was bad but she just about heard the words.  
"Yes?" Just tell me already, she thought. The suspense was unbearable.  
"Miss David you are _not_ pregnant. You could be late for a number of reasons, or simply you could have just skipped a period which is also very common but I can assure you, you are not pregnant." Ziva only heard one thing, you are _not_ pregnant.  
"Okay, thanks. Thank you. Yes..Okay. Goodbye." She fumbled with the cell and hung up sinking back into the couch, She wasn't pregnant. It was a mistake. It wasn't true.

Tony visited her as soon as he finished work. He didn't even bother to knock as he knew she would leave it on the latch for him. He thought he heard the toilet flush and grabbed a beer whilst he waited for her to appear. Ziva emerged out and jumped at the sight of Tony.  
"I did not think you would be here so soon." She admitted covering herself with the towel trying not to let it slip.  
"Ziva I'm sorry I didn't know you were showering." Tony averted his eyes, and stared at the floor until she shut the bedroom door. After a few minutes she reappeared fully clothed, her wet hair trailing down her back.  
"So…" Tony whispered looking up at her again. He didn't want to just ask but he had to know.

"Let's sit down?" Ziva suggested as she grabbed a glass of water and sat down next to him.  
"Tony," she begun, "I'm not pregnant." She waited for a response, if only a visual one but there was nothing. He was waiting for more. "I mean it's for the best I'm sure…"  
"Are you okay?" He asked as she averted her eyes from his. Her body language screamed that there was something else she wasn't telling him.  
"I just- I was so worried about it being true I didn't stop to think about the other option. I'm being stupid-"  
"No you're not. It's understandable." Slowly he reached a hand out to wipe away the single tear that had fallen from her watering eyes and brushed a curl behind her ear.  
"How can I be so upset at something I never had," Ziva whispered, "Never wanted."  
"The baby would have been yours not Adam's. DNA is one thing but-"  
"I am being silly. Come, let's not talk about it further." She stood up and reached for the remote determined to end the conversation. Tony looked at her with sorrow filled eyes but she ignored him and turned on a film. Every second she watched she could feel him watching her. He studied her with an invasive intensity, searching. What for?

Tony had known for a long time how he felt. He'd known it in the beginning it just took longer to admit it to himself. When Adam had kissed her, he felt bile rising up his throat. The thought of his hands on him had always made him sick, but it wasn't only because of what he'd done. The idea of any man other than him touching her, kissing her, it was wrong. It had to be him. She was all he wanted in that moment, he stared at her sad face watching the film. He'd wanted her the past but that was lust. This was different. In that moment he wanted to take her in her arms and hold her till her tears ran dry. To fight away all of her monsters for her. The only thing he wanted was her happiness. It would all be simple if there wasn't already so much pain in her life. He couldn't add to it. That was why he loved in silence and secret, he couldn't risk hurting her. Everything was so complicated, he'd never viewed her as fragile but still he was aware that any relationship after Adam would be difficult. The history between them it would be too much, and that was before work was added into the equation. Gibbs would never allow it, he would probably send her back to Israel. Or fire him. There was no way it could have a good outcome and so he watched in silence as he thought the words 'I love you' over and over, wishing he could say it out loud.


End file.
